Tuesday, October 14, 2008

She's not as innocent as she looks (October 14, 2008)

In December, I received a message from an old friend asking if I would be interested in taking his cat. He is a single dad who has been raising his 3 year old daughter since she was 6 months old. He had to move to a bigger place, but he was not able to take his cat, as the people who lived upstairs (he was moving into a basement suite) has a little boy who had horrible asthma, plus a terrible allergy to cats. It broke his heart as "Charlotte" was literally born on his lap 2 and a half years previous.

I agreed to take her. But I had to rename her. In my opinion (my opinion, my personal preference only!!) I think it's kind of weird to name animals "people" names. I wanted to try to keep it close to "Charlotte", so I decided on renaming her "Charla". Had I thought about it a bit, I should really have waited until she showed me more of her personality. (which was hard, considering for the first 3 weeks of being here, she lived in my walls. Don't ask.)
Had I waited, I would have named her something like "Tripper", or "killer Dust Bunny".

Charla is the sweetest cat ever. She is quiet unless looking for me. At night time when the kids are in bed, and I'm at the computer, she'll sink out of my room softly mewing. She'll meow until I say "I'm right here baby." Then she's quiet again. She isn't one of those "In your face" kind of cats either. She'll come over, hop in my lap to enjoy a good petting, and jump down when she has had enough. She's just in general the perfect cat match for me.

Well, other than the fact she's trying to kill me.

At first I thought it was adorable how when I got up to go to the kitchen/bed/bathroom/answer the phone, she would jump up from her seemingly unconscious state of slumber to walk with me to where I was going. The faster I walk, the faster she walks. I slow down, so does she. Cute, right? WRONG!!! It's all fine and dandy 'till she drops to the ground right in front of me rolling around looking all cute, "asking" for attention. I am talking RIGHT AT MY FEET, in mid stride. walk walk walk walk DROP.

The first 182 times this happened, I would say her name, almost like a warning of "EGAD!! MOVE before I step on you!" I dodged her so many times. She almost made me drop Mackenzie once. I was taking Kenzie out of the bath and bringing her to the living room. Charla, one step ahead of me, WHAMO! Drops to the floor like a sack of potatoes. I stumbled and ended up kicking her with one foot and stepping on her tail with the other. I will never forget the sound she made. At the time I thought it was a sound she made when hurt. I'm pretty certain I was wrong. Now I know she was pissed at herself that her attempts to kill me were foiled. She probably thought she would get double points because I was carrying precious cargo.

I've since learned that as she's trying to pull off her murder scheme, to hiss and say "phfffft" quite loudly. It makes her nervous and pushes her furry little ass a bit quicker to get out of my way.

But silly me. She's been watching and learning. Now she knows while I am busy in the mornings getting ready for work, getting Braden ready for school, and Mackenzie ready for daycare, that I am distracted. The other day we were ready to head out the door. As I was heading down the stairs to leave, the little fur ball stopped on the stair. I didn't see her, and stepped on her just enough to register what it was and proceeded to slide down 5 stairs on my keester while hanging on to the banister. I believe I sounded like this - "what th..CHARLAAAAEIYAAHAHHOOOOOOYOUCH!!" mix in with that about 5 good sounding *THUD*s. Oh yeah. And Braden and Mackenzie's screams of "MOMMY! You broke the cat! Why did you step on poor Charla? Aweee poor Charla". They crooned. WHAT ABOUT ME?!?! It was pointless to tell a 7 and 2 yr old that I could have actually stepped on her harder to save my arse, but nooo.

Then Charla looked me dead in the eyes and said with a menaced tone, "Next time lady. Just you watch. Oh yes. Next. Time."

The doctors said I must have banged my head in the process, but I know what I heard. Oh yes. I do.

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