I'd like to keep my uterus, thank you very much (September 21, 2008)

Had my ultra sound Thursday. I knew when I was preggers with Kenzie that I had a fibroid. "A" fibroid. I found out that I actually have 3. THREE that were recorded 3 YEARS ago. What the heck? Why did I not know about this? My doctor obviously was not concerned about the 2 "little" ones. I found out from the ultra sound technician that the big fibroid was 7cm (3 inches) 3 years ago. But for legal reasons, she couldn't tell me anything regarding this visit. (A radiologist has to look first, and either tell me themselves, or have my doctor tell me). I know it's gotten bigger. But how much bigger? The only thing she could tell me is that it (the big one) is growing from the right side, and is filling my uterus. Plus 2 more. I asked how big THOSE ones were, and all she was allowed to say is they are "relatively the same size as last time". Well. That doesn't help much, now does it? Considering I didn't know about the other 2!!

Needless to say, I'm booking a Dr appointment for early this week to get some answers. I want these fibroids OUT. I am praying and praying and a tad more praying that I don't have to have a hysterectomy. I also don't want to just leave the fibroids, because *what if* I want to have more kids? Realistically, I'm 99.999% sure that I WON'T have any more...but *I* want to have that option. I'm 29. I think it's fair to want to keep my womb. Things would be very different if I was pushing 40... not 30.

I wonder now if Mackenzie was born 4 weeks early due to the fibroids "kicking" her out. According to my Dr, AND the ultra sound tech, the size of my large fibroid (at the time Kenzie was born) is the same size as a 15 week fetus. So in reality, at the end of my pregnancy, I had the equivalent of a 51 week baby in me. HOLY CRAP! SOOO many things could have gone wrong! I'm very lucky.

I would like to point out for the things I am grateful for though. I am grateful that I don't have uterine cancer. I am grateful that I have the option to go to a Dr and find all of this out. I am grateful that my lumpy bumpy womb has popped out two healthy rambunctious children with zero complications.

But I still hope things go my way.

Just for fun (September 20, 2008)

Here’s what you do: Type the answer to each question into a google image search, and then pick an image from the first page of results.

1. Age At Next Birthday: 30. NOOooo!!! 2. Place I’d Like To Travel: Australia

3. Favorite Place: This was a tough one. So I googled "Family". Seriously, if my man and kids are with me, It would be my favourite place. Cheezy, I know.

4. Favorite Object: My Ipod nano.

5. Favorite Food: Mexican. The only thing missing from this pic is the load of sour cream, and a giant margarita!! Doesn't that look AWESOME??

6. Favorite Animal(s): I love ALL sea mammals.

7. Favorite Color: Blue

8. My Nickname: Meathead. My dad has always called me that, and still does. It really is a term of affection!

9. Town I Was Born In: Mission


10. Bad Habit I Have: Procrastination

Concocted by Lana@The Kids Did WHAT?! at approximately 7:28 AM 0 reflections

Jello baby (September 19, 2008)

I'm going insane. I kid you not. It's not what you would think that is putting me over the edge. It's not finances. It's not Braden's lack of common sense (well, he IS only 7, but still..), it's not even car troubles, the economy or what to make for dinner.

It's my jello baby. Mackenzie has perfected, perfected, the amazing ability to make her armpits disappear when trying to pick her up. Especially when I need to give her crap for something.

Me - Mackenzie, come here.
Her - No.
Me - *neck twitch and eyebrow lift* Come HERE. Please.
Her - Nuh uh.
Me - *walk over to child, pick up...pick... PICK UP... what the??... My hands grab where her armpits USED to be, but amazingly enough my hands continue to slide upwards, all the way up her outstretched arms, as she crumples to the floor...laughing. At me. Where the hell did her armpits go???
Her - *lays on floor laughing, saying "I funny mommy. Right?"
Me - ?!?! cries laughs softly

She'll pull this little act while I'm carrying her somewhere. She's happy. I'm happy. We're chatting, and all of a sudden WHAMO! she slithers to the ground. (Now, keep in mind I'm not carrying her by her armpits.) Out of the blue she decides she's going to let go, miraculously heave all her weight (35 pounds) to her lower limbs and hang there. All the while I'm desperately trying to hang on so she doesn't plummet to the ground and smash her head. Because I don't have time to go to the hospital right now Because I wouldn't want her to get hurt.

The other day, picking Braden up from school, Kenzie asks me to carry her. No way. I tell her I'll hold her hand instead. We walk back to the car and as I'm dodging 250 some odd 5-12 year olds, I realize my right arm is dragging further and further away from me. ??? Braden, who is standing on my left gets yelled at for this, as I'm still not recognizing what's going on. "Braden! Go. To. The. Car!! Now please!" he looks at me bewildered like and says "Uh.. I am..." I turn to look at Kenzie, to ask her to hurry up a little bi... Huh? She's hanging from my hand. Her legs have turned to jello, she is swinging wildly at a crazy angle with a huge goofy grin on her face. "UHG! Mackenzie! Stand up. NOW!" She doesn't, so I go to pick her up. Armpit's disappear and she laughs manically at me.

Where's my padded room?

THIS *IS* MY INSIDE VOICE (September 18, 2008)

I'M BRADEN. I'M 7.

I HAD THE COOLEST PARTY EVER. I HAD MY FRIENDS THERE AND WE HAD CAKE AND I GOT TONNES OF PRESENTS.

I WISH I HAD A NICKNAME. BUT I DON'T. I WANT TO BE CALLED "BRAD" BUT MOM SAYS NO WAY. NO FAIR MAN.

I LIKE TO SHOW OFF. MOM SAYS I OVER DO IT, BUT I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO SEE ME IN ACTION ALL THE TIME.

SOMETIMES IT'S HARD BEING ME. MOMMY SAYS I TALK LOUD ALL THE TIME AND IS ALWAYS SAYING "USE YOUR INSIDE VOICE!!" I *AM*!!! SIGH. SHE ALSO SAYS I TALK REALLY FAST. BUT SHE DOES TOO, SO THERE!!

GRADE ONE WAS WAS KINDA HARD. I DON'T KNOW WHY THOUGH. IT WAS KINDA TENSE. BUT I LOVED KINDERGARTEN AND I REALLY LOVE GRADE 2.

SOMETIMES I GET SOOOO EXCITED ABOUT ONE THING, AND JUST WHEN I'M GETTING REALLY INTO IT, SOMEONE, EITHER A TEACHER OR MOMMY OR WHOEVER, MAKES ME STOP AND DO SOMETHING ELSE.

I JUST LEARNED HOW TO RIDE A 2 WHEELER. AT THE BEGINNING OF JULY. NOW I'M A RIDING FOOL. I LOVE BEING ON MY BIKE IT'S THE COOLEST THING EVER!

THIS SUMMER MOMMY AND DAD (SOMETIMES I CALL HIM AARON, OTHER TIMES I CALL HIM DAD) TOOK MY SISTER AND I HIKING. LOTS AND LOTS OF HIKING ON MOUNTAINS. I LOVED IT SOO MUCH. DAD SAYS FOR NEXT SUMMER HE'S GOING TO BUY A WHOLE BUNCH OF HIKING EQUIPMENT SO WE CAN BE "REAL HIKERS". I CAN'T WAIT!!

MY SISTER CAN BE SUCH A PAIN. SHE YELLS AT ME WHEN I'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG. SHE'S ONLY 2 THOUGH. I SHARE WITH HER SO MUCH. IT MAKES MOMMY'S HEART HAPPY WHEN KENZIE AND I DO NICE THINGS FOR EACH OTHER WHEN SHE HASN'T ASKED US TOO. I KNOW THIS CUZ SHE TOLD ME. I LIKE MAKING MOMMY'S HEART HAPPY.

SOMETIMES I DO SILLY THINGS THAT I KNOW I'LL GET IN TROUBLE FOR. I DON'T KNOW WHY I DO IT. I FEEL BAD AFTER CUZ IT MAKES MOMMY REALLY UPSET WHEN I DONT LISTEN TO HER THE FIRST TIME.

THEN MOMMY SAYS EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES, AND I WONDER IF ITS OKAY TO DO THOSE SILLY THINGS ANYWAYS? BEING SEVEN IS REALLY HARD SOMETIMES!

AH, MAN!! I GOTTA GO. KENZIE IS RIPPING MY SCHOOL DAY PLANNER AND THROWING MY LEGO'S IN THE TOILET! MACKENZIE!! STOOOPPPPPP!!!!!!

Wild Card Wednesday - 5 points of randomness (September 17, 2008 )

1 - My son's grade 2 teacher is AWESOME. Love her, lover her LOVE HER. She's taking things slowly and WANTS to get to know the students before hitting the curriculum. that's cool in my books. I'm guessing this way she'll also get a feel for how each kid learns. She keeps sending notes home saying "I just love having Braden in my class. He's so adorable!" I hope she still thinks that way at the end of June!!

2 - My best friend just lived out a hurricane. Hurricane Ike made it's presence known and she stayed. Granted, they live right by Houston, where they weren't told they had to leave or anything, but still! They have a bit of water damage in their oldest son's room, but nothing too serious. They COULD have been without power for a few weeks, but lucked out and were only powerless for 3 days. Whatever. I'da hightailed my ass out of there!!

3 - I have discovered that I do not like teenagers. Mostly teenage girls. And by teenagers, I mean from the age of 12 to 23. They...OK A LOT of them... are catty, snotty and just plain rude. I probably don't like them because I was just like that when I was that age. I discovered this working the weekend shift. Good grief! Please please PLEASE get me on the Monday-Friday shift SOON!!

4 - I have massive fibroids growing in my uterus. I go in for an ultra sound tomorrow to see how big exactly and where exactly they are. When laying down, I can feel my uterus AND fibroid(s). my Dr. said it feels like I'm about 15 weeks pregnant. WHICH I AM NOT. I want it/them removed. My Dr said if they are inside the uterus it could be removed, but if it's inside the muscle, I won't be able to, and suggested a hysterectomy. NO THANKS. He said IF I was to want another child, that getting pregnant with the fibroid(s) that size, could literally kill the baby by not leaving any room for it. I have NO plans on having another child ANY time soon, but still. Lets hope for the best. Lets hope I can just have the fibroid(s) taken out with uterus intact.

5 - Even with life's daily and not so daily stresses, I am pretty dang happy these days. Life definatly isn't a bowl of cherries, but in the words of "John and Kate plus 8" "It might be a crazy life, but it's my life." Even on my wort of the worst day/week/month (you get the idea) I wouldn't trade it with anyone. I STRONGLY believe, that if everyone took their issues and problems and could throw them into a giant heap, and then were told to go to that heap and pick the same number of problems we threw in, 99% of us would take a look at the mess, and sort through to pick back up the very problems we threw away. After seeing what we COULD have been dealing with, our problems probably wouldn't seem all that bad. Now try telling me this when I'm really stressed out and I'll probably have to smack you. Call me Pollyanna, but there REALLY is a bright side to EVERYTHING. Even if we can't see that right away.

Shhh...don't tell mommy, k? (September 16, 2008)

Hi. I'm Mackenzie. I'll be 3 in November. I'm a princess. ACTUALLY, it's "Da da da DA, PRINCESS KENZIA!!" Sometimes I'm referred to as princess Fiona. Mommy says when I'm a grump I'm still a princess, but an ogre. Like Fiona from Shrek. Whatever. She's still nice.

I know pretty much everything. Braden my brother, likes to bug me. But I have discovered that before he gets the chance, I can get him in trouble. If he's in the other room, and I think he might be heading my way, all I have to do is yell "NOooooo Braden! NOOOOOOOOOooooooooo!!!" and Mommy will make sure he doesn't continue to bother me. But she's quick. It only took her a couple weeks to realize what I was up to. He doesn't get in trouble any more. Now I do. How fair is THAT?!?!

My favorite favorite thing to do to drive both Mommy AND Braden crazy, is to wait until Braden starts talking, then yell and scream at him that *I* was talking to my mommy FIRST. even when I wasn't. They both get SO riled up.

Mommy thought she had the whole potty training thing licked with me. Apparently pooping on the potty is suppose to be the final step. Well, I thought I'd teach her a thing or two. i HATE having poop in my pull-up. So poops on the pot have never been an issue. She seems to think I should be peeing there too. Personally, I don't really care. I have better things to do. Pee in the pants is nothing. It's warm, not smelly (compared to poop) and doesn't make my butt all lumpy when I sit. Mommy hasn't figured out that I'll do it when I'm ready. I think 15 sounds like a good age. I like to keep her on her toes.

I love our night time routine. We eat supper then have a bath. We're usually out of the bath at 7:30pm when the bugs bunny show comes on. My brother and I get to sit on the couch wrapped up in warm towels (mommy has them warmed up from the dryer for us) and we sit and watch that cwazy wabbit and friends. Then at 8:30 we are both ready for bed!!

Every night before she goes to bed, Mommy comes into our room and kisses us again and tells us she loves us. She doesn't know it, but I always know when she comes in. I pretend to be fast asleep, but really I'm wide awake contemplating the theory of relativity, and whether or not I'm going to share my carrot sticks with the other kids at daycare the next day.

I should get going now. Braden said he wants to have a turn. I think I'll mess around on the computer a bit more, investing in stocks or something. I'll waste just a tad more time on here so he HAS to wait till tomorrow to make a post. I LOVE being a little sister. Such POWER!!

Where has the time gone? (September 9, 2008)

It's been a while. I new I wasn't going to blog everyday, but I did intend on blogging a bit more than what I have been. Life has been SO BUSY!!

Aaron and I are officially together, as of the beginning of July. WOOHOO!! It seems longer because of our "history" but a good longer. I have NEVER felt this secure and happy in a relationship. Even when we were together before I didn't feel this way. He's freakin AWESOME. Of course he IS still a man, but I can forgive that. ...

Mackenzie is such a diva with bad-itude! When she doesn't get her way she either tells me "I don't WIKE you!!" or she'll growl. Yes. The little turd will growl at me.
Braden is in grade 2 with an AWESOME teacher. The first time I saw her I KNEW we were gonna have a great year this year...although, he could have had Bigfoot as a teacher and it probably would have been better than last year. Seriously though, this teacher actually wants to get to know the kids and have them know and trust her before she pulls out the work load. Niiice!!

The boys have settled quite nicely back in with their mom. I have ONE thing to say about it... just one.... WHY IS SHE NOT ENFORCING THEIR TABLE MANNERS??? I only expect near perfection in children at the table. Ok. seriously. I NEVER said a word to Alex, who's 4 (was 3 when he came to me) regarding his manners, other than not talking with his mouth full. But the other guys who were 5 and 7, they KNOW how to eat with elbows OFF the table, mouths CLOSED while chewing, hold the utensils PROPERLY and SITTING ON THEIR HINEY. sigh. ALL of that GONE. She doesn't care. and it drives me BANANAS!!

You know what else drives me crazy? People who are against breast feeding. duh. Obviously MOST mothers feel that way, right? I didn't breast feed. I may or may not post another time as to why I didn't, but not today. But you know what drives me even MORE crazy??? Is people who gush on and on and on and on and on and on and on (getting the point???) about how wonderful it is to do so. and what a beautiful thing it is. Why is it more beautiful than a bottle fed baby and mother? It is a mother feeding a child. I do not feel that I did not bond with my children any less feeding them a bottle of formula. I held my children close to me while they ate, burped them, looked in their gorgeous little eyes as their tummys were getting full. I support breast feeding. I also support bottle feeding. Hell. I support GOOD MOMS!! YAY MOMMYS!!

I have to work on the weekends for the next couple weeks. BLAH. I haven't worked on a Saturday or Sunday since... um.... Well, I believe I worked a couple Saturdays when Braden was 3. Before that was in 2000. wow. Oh well. The kids need some time with their dad without me around right? And it won't last long so I think I can handle it. It just REALLY sucks that my first Saturday shift is a TEN HOUR shift!! EGAD!!!