The Kids Did WHAT?!

Google Reader Hog

2011-08-07T13:43:00.000-07:00

No, google isn't spazing out, posting old posts. I'm re-posing them, as I had shut down my blog quite a while ago. Bare with me, as I post about 150 more posts over the course of the next few days. Sorry to clutter up your google reader. I must say... I'm not digging the new blogger posting format. Ah well. I shall deal. New posts once I'm all caught up!
Hey.. Is there anyone still out there anyways?

Slow Return

2011-08-06T01:14:00.000-07:00

In Processes of importing (slowly, oh so painfully slowly) my old posts, then to TRY to get this baby up and running again! If there's anyone out there anymore, that is!

WW #7- Athabasca Falls, Jasper, Alberta (Dec 10, 2008)

2008-12-10T12:59:00.000-08:00

Concocted byLana@The Kids Did WHAT?!at approximately 6:24 AM 4reflections

Labels:Wordless Wednesday

Neat-o, Grammy-o! (Dec 5, 2008)

2008-12-05T12:57:00.000-08:00

My three year old, Mackenzie, stated to me the other day, how when shegrew up, I wouldn't be her mommy anymore. I assured her that I wouldalways be her mommy, even when she was a mommy. I explained to her thatmy mom, her grandma 'Bickie', was still my mom, even though I am grownup. I went on to tell her how Grandma was "all grown up" and still had her mommy, which was Grandma Jeanne. "That makes Grandma Jeanne your great grandma, Mackenzie."

"Yes!", she replied with great enthusiasm. "And Grandma 'Bickie' is my neat grandma!!" ☺ ☺ ☺

Concocted byLana@The Kids Did WHAT?!at approximately 6:10 AM 2reflections

Thursday Thirteen #8 (Dec 4, 2008)

2008-12-04T12:55:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Things I CANNOT SPELL WITHOUT SPELL CHECK

1. ~~Scheduale~~ Schedule

2. ~~Definatley~~ Definitely

3. ~~Proffessional~~ Professional

4. ~~Nescisarily~~ Necessarily

5. ~~Anurysim~~ Aneurysm

6. ~~Indesisive~~ Indecisive

7. ~~Untill~~ Until

8. ~~Subordanant~~ Subordinate

9. ~~Calander~~ Calender

10. ~~Cheeze~~ Cheese

11. ~~Courdoroy~~ Corduroy

12. ~~Restaraunt~~ Restaurant

13. ~~Sentance~~ Sentence

Concocted byLana@The Kids Did WHAT?!at approximately 6:03 AM 5reflections

Wordless Wednesday - Dandelion "Puff-Balls" (Dec 3, 2008)

2008-12-03T12:54:00.000-08:00

Braden

Mackenzie & Daddy

July 2008, Merrit, BC.

Concocted byLana@The Kids Did WHAT?!at approximately 6:01 AM 10reflections

Size DOES Matter, Son. (Dec2, 2008)

2008-12-02T12:52:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning on the way to school, Braden tells me he knows theperfect gift he is going to get me for Christmas. He asked if I wantedto know what it was. I said no, just let it be a surprise. He said Ishould probably know beforehand, so I wouldn't be worried when I sawthe giant truck outside the house. ???

"Braden,mommy doesn't need anything that needs to come in a giant truck. Justget me something little, or make me a story, or draw me a picture orsomething."

Braden smacked his forehead and said, "Well, since you don't want something big, can I tell you what it was going to be?"

"Sure, buddy. What was it going to be?"

"AHUGE, GINORMOUS, big, brand new bathtub, Mommy! Big enough for you tofit in all the way so your head AND feet can go in. All at the sametime!"

"Cool, Buddy! That sounds awesome. The bathtub we have now is pretty good though."

"Yeah, but Mommy! The one I wanted to get you was going to be TWO INCHES WIDE!!"

Concocted byLana@The Kids Did WHAT?!at approximately 6:02 AM 7reflections

"It's Not Like I Called You A..." (Dec 1, 2008)

2008-12-01T12:51:00.000-08:00

We all have our choice words or phrase for someone who has angered us.Whether it be "You nasty old fart", or maybe "You stupid &^%#$@&@^#&%$!!". Well, My kids have found the MOST insulting termto swing at one another. It creates high blood pressure, tempertantrums, and full out hysterics. You should see how it affects thekids, too.

Are you ready? Are you prepared for the nastiest comeback in my household, used by a seven and three year old? Towards each other?
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Poo Poo Head

My children share a room. They don't have to. I live in a 3 bedroom house. They want to share a room. With each other. Weird.

Anyhoo, this is a scene from last night.

Me- (after tucking them in, kisses & hugs and all that other mommystuff) "Goodnight Kenzie. Love you. Goodnight Braden. Love you. Sweetdreams you guys"

Kids - In freaky like Brady Bunch unison - "Night night Mommy. Love you too.

Ismiled and walked into the living room. I settle down to fit my buttinto the perfect little butt grooves my arse has already worn into my chair.

Ahhh. Kids in bed. Downstairs neighbours are quiet. Perhaps I'll do some blog hopping.

~~Something~~ Someone breaks the silence.

Kenzie - Mommy. (pause) Mommy! MOMMY! Braden called me a POO POO HEAD!
(repeat this 3 times, as I try desperately to ignore it. (Hey! I was comfy!)

Braden - Nuh UH! She called ME POO POO HEAD FIRST! (pause) MOMMY! MOOOMMMMYYYYY!

Me Goodnight!! I love you!!

Kenzie- Mommy. (pause) Mommy! MOMMY! Braden called me a POO POO HEAD! A POOPOO HEAD! Braden, I'm MEAN AT YOU NOW!Mooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!

Braden - Be quiet Mackenzie! You're giving me a headache! MOM-MEE!

Me - (Still calling from the living room) GOOD. NIGHT. I love you. Go to sleep. The both of you. NOW.

Theycontinue to talk, argue actually, but they are both on their beds, andnot involving me. And they aren't yelling anymore. They were trying tojustify why they called each other a poo poo head. It began to get alittle loud after a while. I got up and was just outside their bedroomdoor when I heard Braden say to his little sister in a really snottytone, "It's not like I called you a pee pee head, you know!

In afraction of a second I envisioned things getting really nasty. Perhapsa repeat of tattling? Yelling from the bedroom? My head exploding?

Nope.

Whathappened next was stunned silence. Mackenzie contemplated for a momentand said quite innocently, "A Pee Pee Head?" Then broke into a bellysplitting laughter. She laughed so hard *I* started laughing. I had torun back into the living room so they didn't hear me.

If they heard me laughing at "pee pee head", I am in SO much trouble.

Tomorrow's lesson - It's not OK to call people names. Especially pee pee head, because it might make Mommy laugh.

Concocted byLana@The Kids Did WHAT?!at approximately 6:21 AM 8reflections

29. Or 30. Or Maybe 65 (Nov 29, 2008)

2008-11-29T12:49:00.000-08:00

When someone tells me they are 30, I don't ever think of them being old. ~~It's My Birthday today~~But when it comes to ME being 30, I feel decrepit. I feel depressedabout it. I know it's just a number. I know I'm not the first woman toturn 30. ~~I'm the "big 3-0" today~~ I know I'm only as old as I feel blah blah blah.

Ateenager at the place I work at said to me a while ago when she foundout I was almost 30, "Whoa! You don't look that old!" Burn! I know itwas a compliment, but it could have been said with a wee touch morecouth.

I have decided I am going to be one of "those" women. ~~Happy Birthday to me~~ I am going to be 29 again. I can recycle a number, can't I? I mean, after all, it is just a number, right? 29 wasn't necessarily one of my most memorable years, but it sounds so much better than me being thirty! ~~I don't care how old I am, I still want a cake dang it. But it better only have 29 candles~~

Ithink one of the reasons it's bothering me so much, is my boyfriend isonly 26. Well, he will be in 2 days. So not fair! he thinks it's funnyhow I say I'll stay 29 for one more year. His response? "Yeah. And Iwanna stay 25 for another year." Jackass.
~~I better be getting something good for this birthday, with the said birthday being today~~
Maybe I'll feel better about turning 30 when I let myself turn 31.

Maybe.

Or maybe I'll feel better about it tomorrow.

ORI could just lie until it's painfully obvious that 29 has been overlyrecycled. I figure (I hope!!) that will be when I'm 40. Then I'll lieand say I'm 39. How sweet would that be? By-pass 30-38 all together? Ohyeah! But When I turn the ripe old age where I'm classified as asenior, I'll be all over that one. Seniors get kick ass deals onthings! Who would want to miss out on that?! Okay. 30 isn't soundingtoo too bad now... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!! Oh. I mean, ~~HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!~~ :)

I didn't even get to sleep in today. Booooooooooo!!!!

Concocted byLana@The Kids Did WHAT?!at approximately 6:13 AM 9reflections

Random (Nov 28, 2008)

2008-11-28T12:47:00.000-08:00

Six random things.

1 ~ If I eat honey, I get a severe stomach ache. This only started about 5 years ago.

2~ I think toes (for females) look very odd without nail polish. I havepolish on, but it is very neglected. Chipping like crazy! I'm betteroff right now taking it off and risk having odd looking colourless toes!

3~ I like to scare my cat. I love her to pieces, but I can't helpmyself. The way she leaps into the air with a back flip and a"Oh-my-God-I'm-going-to-die" look on her face sends me into hysterics.OH! Maybe THAT'S why she's trying to kill me!!

4~ The stretch marks I got from my pregnancy with my son don't bother meone iota. (I didn't get any with my second pregnancy) The hangy poochof excess skin/fat/baby mush belly that will never go away even after Ilose more weight and exercise like crazy? THAT bugs me.

5 ~ ~~It's my birthday tomorrow~~I think I will be okay with turning 30, since I discovered somethingelse that I don't want. Ever. Grey hair. Don't have any...yet. *KNOCKON WOOD!!!*

6 ~ My hair is very long, but most people wouldn'tknow it. I wear it up 99% of the time. But I won't cut it. Just a trim,maybe once a year. I'm too chicken!!

Thursday Thirteen #7 - Crashident. X2 (Nov 27, 2008)

2008-11-27T12:46:00.000-08:00

First off, I would like to sayHappy Thanksgiving to all of my American friends! In case you didn'tknow, in Canada we celebrate Thanksgiving the second Monday in October.I am preparing myself for insane amounts of jealousy, and will bearming myself with a bib. To catch the drool as I look at your photo'sand read about your turkey dinners over the next few days! I may havealready had my turkey dinner, but it doesn't mean I'm not ready formore!!

~~~~~~

Thirteen Reasons WHY TUESDAY WAS A BITTERSWEET DAY

1. I rear ended someone.

2. No one was hurt.

3. No damage to EITHER car. On the outside... (My car is a red 1996 Mercury Sable. The car I hit? A blue 1996 Mercury Sable!!)

4. My car wouldn't start after. Hello Mechanic.

5. My mother was able to pick my son and I up.

6.She lectured me...Because she couldn't find her crock pot insert andlid that I borrowed. At Easter. (Um, Mom? I know. Sorry. Get that backto you ASAP. Promise. But the timing was kinda crappy to bring up thatsort of thing. you couldn't wait another hour till I calmed down???)

7.Mom let me borrow her car to meet the tow truck driver at my brokencar. (THANKS MOM! OK. I forgive the crock pot/timing issue)

8.*I* get REAR ENDED on the WAY TO MY BROKEN CAR. You know, The one thatis BROKEN because *I* REAR ENDED someone. (Can we say IRONY, boys andgirls???)

9. A teeny tiny iddy biddy scratch on mom's car. That's it. PHEW.

10.The first guy, the one I hit? He said no matter the damage, he wasn'tgoing to claim it. He was SUPER nice. He said his car wouldn't be"worth fixing up, as it is just a beater car."

11.Unintentional slam, I'm sure, but go back up and read what's inparenthesis in number 3. Dude. Your "beater car" is MY only car!! Butthank you for being so helpful and kind with everything else!!

12.Braden asked me about 3 micro seconds after impact "Why did you do thatMommy?! Why did you hit that car?", in an admonishing tone. I told him(In a not so nice voice), "Because mommy likes to live on the edge,Braden. I figured you might have some questions about accidents, and Iwanted to show you what it was like. ALRIGHT?!" Thankfully my sonunderstands the "tone" and knows there was no "reason" that mommy can'tdrive, other than the fact that, well, apparently Mommy can't drive.

13.No one was hurt. And my mom rocks. Even when she's more concerned abouther crock pot than the mental state of her daughter. (Heh heh...Hi Mom!cough cough...Love you!)

Concocted byLana@The Kids Did WHAT?!at approximately 6:22 AM 3reflections

WW - Bridal Viel Falls, BC (Nov 26, 2008)

2008-11-26T12:44:00.000-08:00

Concocted byLana@The Kids Did WHAT?!at approximately 6:14 AM 8reflections

It's All In The Mouth (November 25, 2008)

2008-11-25T12:43:00.000-08:00

Bradenbrought home his first report card (for grade two) on Friday. What adifference from grade one. He is still behind in reading, but the factthat he IS reading is awesome. I attribute that 100% on his amazingteacher. Sure, we read at home, but I just don't have the "proper"techniques that Braden needed to gain confidence and actually try.Braden, for some reason, has always had the mindset of "If I can't getit NOW or do it correctly NOW, then I just won't do it." That SUCKS!!!It makes me want to rip my hair out! So the fact that he is reading andwriting little stories is awesome. He is doing awesome in math andscience. I still haven't heard from his speech therapist, who said shewas going to call me 2 weeks ago. He sees her once a week at school. IfI don't hear from her by the end of this week, I'm gonna have to hunther down. I need to know what they are doing with him, and what I cando at home to help him "sort out his thoughts".
Buthis schooling! Incredible! I am so proud of him. I'm happy too! Mostimportantly, Braden is proud of himself and is really happy too.

Bradencontinues to be my little helper. He loves to help. He loves to feelimportant and special. What kid doesn't? But Braden, ... I can'tdescribe it. The garbage needs to go out? He's your man. The floorsneed to be vacuumed? Call on the Braden-ater! Anything. He needs andwants to be there.

He helped me bake shortbread cookies onSunday and had a blast. So did I. You see, I can't stand it when kidsare in the kitchen with me. Any kids. I like things MY way. I hate hatehate it. I worry they'll get hurt. I worry they'll move something and Iwon't be able to find it. I worry they will just plain old be in myway, and things won't get done in the time frame I want them done in.Silly I know. But true. He was very impressed with himself, and he dida great job.

Thanks for all your help buddy! When does Mommy love you? That's right baby, ALL THE TIME.

Ilove when he falls asleep in the car. At home, I don't make it a habitto watch him fall asleep. But I get a fit of the giggles every time Iglance in the rear view mirror and watch "The mouth story".

Yousee, I can tell when Braden is faking sleep. He doesn't sleep with hismouth closed. Ever. So when he's faking, his mouth is closed. When he'sout? It's a gaping hole in his head. It's so much funnier in the carsince gravity helps pull his mouth open even more, being in a sittingposition. (The really weird thing? With his mouth wide open as hesleeps, he still breathes through his nose. Weird, eh?)

Let me illustrate, shall I?

Going...

Going...

GONE!!

Sweet dreams my little man!

Concocted byLana@The Kids Did WHAT?!at approximately 6:16 AM 3reflections

B-Day Party Pics (November 23, 2008)

2008-11-23T12:41:00.000-08:00

As promised. I know you've all been dying to see pictures of a 3 yearolds b-day party, whom 99.999% of you have never met. Wait no longer myfriends. :P

Mackenzie wanted to wear her fairy princess Halloween costume for her third b-day party. How appropriate. :)
I know I've been posting about Kenzie a lot lately. Braden posts coming soon!

Here's a few of my favourites from yesterday

Mackenzie & Daddy

The cake she picked out

Mommy cheesing it up for the camera

Cake time!

Show me how old you are now, Baby!

Her new baby from Papa

Intently "reading" the card from Great Grandma & Grandpa

The Party That Wasn't & The Party That Will Be (November 22, 2008)

2008-11-22T12:40:00.000-08:00

Today is Mackenzie's long awaited birthday party. I had to postpone itfrom last Saturday, because she had the flu. And so did I. She's 100%back to her regular divaness, where as I am about 70% better. Whatever.I'm not complaining. I'll take 70% better over 100% attached to thetoilet, any day!

Sheturned three last Sunday. She hardly ate a thing that day. We stillwanted to do something for her, so Aaron went to the store and pickedup some cupcakes. I put 3 candles in one and we (Aaron, Braden andmyself) sang Happy Birthday to her. Her face lit up and she was veryexcited. She blew out the candles, licked the icing, somehow got icingon her toes, licked her toes, and said she had enough. Here are somepics. Tomorrow I'll TRY to have b-day party pics posted. Okay Shannon?;)

Blowing out her candles

Daddy let her eat on the couch. Hmmm. Having a taste of the icing.

Braden enjoying his cupcake

She somehow managed to get icing on her toes. And she wasn't going to let it go to waste!

Even though she was sick, she was still a very happy girl.

I've... (November 21, 2008)

2008-11-21T12:38:00.000-08:00

I saw this meme in a couple different blogs and kept meaning to do it.It's super quick. Which is good because I don't have any time thismorning!! (So sorry sugartits. This one's all about ME today.;))

OK,the rules are simple. Copy and paste the list, putting the thingsyou've done in bold. I'm not tagging anyone, just play if you want to.(Let me know if you do it so I can see!!)

1. Started my own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than I can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain Mount Cheam, and Mount Seymour
9. Touched an iceberg - Touched one? Hell, I walked on one!!
10. Sung a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught myself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown my own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught myself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had my portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma - I plan to donate blood someday. I really do!
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had my picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox Twice!!
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby Twice!
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee Many, many times
100. Had sex outside

Thursday Thirteen #6 (November 20, 2008)

2008-11-20T12:35:00.000-08:00

Shut up Sugartits. This is MY blog and I'll publicly love you if I want to.

Thirteen Things about WHY I LOVE MY BEST FRIEND
1. Because she lets me call her sugartits.

2. We share the same disgustingly morbid sense of humor.

3.She is the ONLY person (whom I have EVER had any sort of relationshipwith) that has NEVER made me angry. Which is a mystery because I getannoyed with EVERYTHING and everyone.

4. She's the only one whowill ever understand and appreciate the "great bathtub mounting"incident. (They're normal boys, right??)

5. She can find the good in anyone.

6. Babies and soy sauce. 'Nough said.

7. She's one of the bravest people I know, even if she doesn't see it herself.

8.She uses idle threats on her kid. Just like me. Welll.. Maybe a teenytad more than me, but that's just to make me feel better about myparenting skills...;) We can do this parenting thing, right?

9.She was there with me when I gave birth to my daughter. She didn't tellme to "shut up" once, nor did she say "Eww!". Not even when I peed onthe towel. Or when she saw me butt flippin naked. (Are your eyes okay?Do they still burn randomly? So sorry...)

10. She lets me makefun of her husband when he calls a dinning room suite a "dinning roomSUIT". (Love you Jason, ya big monkey)

11. Eleven years later she's still trying to convince me that she really DOES like me. (But, are you sure??)

12. Because I can talk to her about anything, and she shows zero judgement.

13. Because not only are we best friends, we're soul friends. I love you Shannon!!!

WW - Smell This! (November 19, 2008)

2008-11-19T12:34:00.000-08:00

Taken in October of 2007

And So It Begins (November 18, 2008)

2008-11-18T12:33:00.000-08:00

My son noticed the other day that there are Christmas decorationdowntown on the street lights. I HATE THAT!! It's November!! I knowit's a ploy to remind people Christmas is coming so start your shoppingnow, but can't it wait until at least the last week of November if notDecember 1st?

Anyhow,seeing the decorations inspired Braden to start writing a list forSanta. So far these are the items he has. Keep in mind he just turned 7in July:

- Electric guitar with giant speakers to plug into. (equals noise. Soo...NOPE)
- Alarm clock. (why? He's the first one to wake up anyways!!)
- An ipod. (Heh. No WAY. I didn't get mine till about 6 months ago, he can wait too!)
- A laptop. (HAHAHAHAHA!! You ain't getting one before me, kiddo!)
- A cell phone. (Again boy, you are SEVEN!!

I went over the list with him and asked what kind of toys he wanted. "That's it Mommy. All on my list is what I want. That's it. Oh yeah. And some really cool Geo shock shoes."

...???Geo shock shoes? Never heard of them. He says he saw them on TVcommercials at Grandma's house. (We don't have cable..Oh how I wish wedid!!) He said "All the cool kids are wearing them." WTF? I thoughtthis request for name brand clothing crap wasn't suppose to happen tillmuch later?? Silly Mommy.

Yesterday Braden told me he heardSanta's bells jingling far off in the distance. I told him "I don'tthink so bud. I'm pretty sure Santa is still in the North pole helpinghis elves make toys."

Braden disagreed. He said, "No Mommy. Santa doesn't make the toys.... He makes his lists and checks them twice."

You're right buddy. Silly Mommy, once again.

Aftermath Bath (November 17, 2008)

2008-11-17T12:31:00.000-08:00

Aftermath Bath

I love this. I love it when the kids have had a great day with eachother, minimal fighting and continue to love and be silly with eachother at the end of the day.

Aftertheir bath, they snuggled together on the chair and shared a snack ofraisins. They giggled and put on their own type of comedy show. Thebest part about it was how they just killed themselves laughing. Youknow those full blown belly laughs that melt your heart and make youlaugh too? Yeah. Those ones.

3 Years Ago Today (November 16, 2008)

2008-11-16T12:29:00.000-08:00

3 minutes ~~old~~ new

Wow. Has 3 years really passed by this quickly? I can't believe. My baby girl is 3!!

Kenzie on her first birthday:

Kenzie and her first B-day cake:

Kenzie on her second birthday:

Kenzie and her second year b-day cake:

Kenzie today, her 3rd B-day:
(Well, they were taken yesterday, but whatever!)

She's so beautiful.

I'llhave to post party pics next weekend. My little girl has the flu, so Ipostponed her party until next Saturday. Get better soon baby girl.HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SWEET LITTLE PRINCESS!!

~~~
The Story:

Accordingto my Dr. and ultra sound(s), Kenzie's due date was Dec. 12. Accordingto MY calculations, I said her due date was the 6th of Dec. So my Drand I met in the middle and pleased each other by saying her due datewas Dec 9th. Silly us. She had her own plans. November 16th, 2005 shegraced my world with her appearance. 6 pounds, 9 ounces, (Or was it 8ounces?) and 21 inches long. Or was it 19 inches...? I don't remember!!(Sorry sweety. But I'm sure it's written down. Somewhere. I hope.)

OnNov 15th, I read an email. I can't remember what it said exactly, butit made me mad. REALLY MAD. An hour later I felt "crampy". Being childnumber 2, I SHOULD have known, but figured it was braxton hicks or justcramps.

That evening I had a BURST of energy. I re-arranged myliving room. I moved everything. I cleaned the house from top tobottom. I showered and shaved my legs. Or did I? Shannon, you werethere... were my legs hairy? whatever.

I remember havingcramping on and off through out the night.it would wake me up justenough to feel, and sometimes my moaning was what woke me. They werepretty inconsistent too. At some point, I believe it was about 2am, Iliterally said out loud, "God. You know me. You know I have to be hitwith a 2x4 to get the point across. I do NOT want to go to the hospitaljust to be sent home. PLEASE give me a very clear sign so I now whenit's time. Thanks", and I went back to sleep. For about 10 mins. Mycontractions were still irregular, but getting stronger. I moved to myliving room and slept on my recliner. It helped immensely.

At7:50am, I woke up to the weirdest feeling/sound EVER. I heard AND felta pop. Like a balloon full of jello popping in me. Even though itdidn't happen with Braden, I knew exactly what it was. My water broke.Wait. No it didn't. It burst. It's amazing how quickly thoughts runthrough your head, eh? Because the nano second I felt that pop, Ithought of all the articles that say amniotic fluid can ruin furniture,etc. So instead of lowering the footrest and getting out normally, Irolled over the side of my recliner to "save" it. It worked!

Iusually sleep in the buff. That night I slept with my clothes on. Thankgoodness I did! So much water came out of me, that as I was running,yes, RUNNING to the bathroom, the weight of the water pushed my pantsdown! I couldn't believe it. I got to the bathroom and more fluidpoured out. I looked at my belly and watched it drop down. I felt soheavy. And then my tummy was shrinking. Where the hell did the babygo?!?! I literally looked in the toilet. Nope. No baby. This is good. Istill can't believe how much amniotic fluid came out of me!

Itook this opportunity to say "Yo! Thanks God! Now THAT'S the kind ofsign I was looking for!" My contractions stopped. I didn't have anotherone for about an hour/hour and a half.

I'm going to save youfrom all the details. The whole part above happens to be my favourite,so I shared. The rest is just your basic "I popped a baby out of myvagina and I blame the nurses for everything because this MUST be therefault they were evil and blah blah blah kind of stuff"

Oh yeah.Braden, my first, was a c-section. So I am SO SO happy I got to deliverMackenzie vaginally. I would NOT have done it without the epiduralthough. Kudos to all you ladies who have done it drug free. You are myhero!!

The Dr who was there for the delivery wasn't my regularDr. but I knew there was a possibility of that. Dr. S, who was there,was AWESOME. He had a great sense of humour too. He was chatting withthe nurse when I realised he was massaging my perineum.
Um...okaaay... Sort of odd, but whatever.. So I asked him "When you're donewith that, could you massage my feet next?" He looked kind of shockedat first, like he was trying to process what I had said to him. Then helaughed. He didn't rub my feet. Bastard. From what the nurse said,turns out not many others had requested that before. I wonder why? Imean, if he's gonna get that personal, he may as well do the feet too, right?

So my water broke at 7:50 am, and I gave birth at 7:44pm.

My life has never been the same and for that I am grateful.

Happy Birthday Princess Kenzia!!

Then Comes Worse (Novemer 15, 2008)

2008-11-15T12:28:00.000-08:00

Bad - You're down to your last cigarette and can't go to the store due to children sleeping.
Worse - You light your last cigarette at the wrong end.

Bad - Dribbling coffee on a customer's pant leg.
Worse - Dropping a container of syrup on a customer's pant leg. You know. That same customer.

Bad - Having a bathtub take 30 minutes to drain after a bath or shower.
Worse- Hearing the almost 3 year old child saying "Bye bye cotton balls"while holding an empty bag. And staring down the bathtub drain.

Bad - laughing at some dufus who has a sock stuck to the back of their pant leg.
Worse - Having a co-worker tell you 2 hours into your shift that you have a MAXI PAD stuck to YOUR leg. (unused, thank GOD.)

Bad - Being an idiot with friends and talking with an exaggerated lisp to sound funny.
Worse - Not realising until it's far too late that the friend of your friend actually has a lisp.

Bad- yelling at your son to "Come out of the closet!" for the 1,365,324time that day. (What is so appealing about playing in a bedroomcloset??)
Worse - Your son comes out of the bedroom 5 minutes later, crying, because he wants to be She-Ra, Princess of Power, but his 3 yr old sister won't let him.

Bad - Driving around for a month with the emergency brake light coming on every time you make a right hand turn.
Worse - The emergency brake light going off, but now your car jolts and jumps when you go over 30km per hour (That's about 45/50 mph)

Bad - Being in denial about your kids getting older because it means you are aging too.
Worse- Not planning or preparing the party you've been telling her aboutuntil last minutes notice, because Mommy is a giant walking brain fart.
(Turns out I'm postponing her party until NEXT Saturday. Poor little thing has the stomach flu)

By The Powers Of Greyskull!! (November14, 2008)

2008-11-14T12:26:00.000-08:00

Every once in a while before bed, the kids and I look at funny cartoonsor music videos on you tube. A few weeks ago Aaron and I werereminiscing about cartoons we watched as kids. For shits and giggles wepulled up "He-Man".
That caught Braden's eye pretty quick.

Lastweekend Aaron found a double DVD with a total of 14 or so episodes of"He-Man". Guess what we did all day Saturday? You guessed it. The fourof us sat there for hours watching He-Man.

The next day, Sunday, I had to work. Aaron found a movie online with both He-Man AND She-Ra. Sweet!

Icame home from work that day to find out Mackenzie had left a few hoursprevious. In her place was "She-Wa, Pwincess O' Powrrrr!"

Throughoutthis past week has been sword fighting (Funny, I don't recall the"real" She-Ra and He-Man sibling duo duking it out with theirswords...), begging and pleading to get another cat so we can name it"Cringer", and more begging and pleading for a "Horse with wings, justlike She-Wa's"

Mackenzie is still going strong. I called her over to me and this is how it went -

Me - "Mackenzie, come see mommy please"

Kenzie - (Mortified) "I am NOT KENZIE! I am She-Ra, Princess Of POWER, Mommy!"

Me - "Oh. Sorry honey. She-Ra, please come here for a minute"

Kenzie - "Okay Mommy. I comin."

She gets pretty ripped off when I call her brother "Braden".

This usually happens in the car on the way to school

Kenzie - "Hims is He-Man, mommy! Not 'Baden'! Right 'Baden'??"

Braden - (Big sigh) "Mackenzie, I don't want to play right now."

Kenzie - "Yes you DOOOOOO!! You is the He-Man and I. Is. Your. Sister. She-RAAAAA!!"

Braden- (Rolling his eyes) No Kenzie. I can only be the Master Of theUniverse On the weekends. I have to go to school and He-Man is too oldfor school.

The kicker? The other kids at daycare have no cluewhat Kenzie is talking about and think she's nuts. I can't believetheir parents haven't subjected them to early 80's cartoons!! I mean,Come ON, People!!

The boys in Braden's class beg me everydayafter school to come over so they can watch this mysterious "Master"wielding a sword while wearing a fur trimmed speedo.

I like it. No, not the fur trimmed speedo. I like that my kids love a corny little show that Iused to race home from school to watch everyday when I was 7. Not quitea classic like "Tom & Jerry" or "The Bugs Bunny ans Tweety Show",but a classic nonetheless.

What favourite shows did you watch that aren't played on TV anymore?

"I Like Spiders In A Tree" (November 7, 2008)

2008-11-07T12:44:00.000-08:00

I am in love with my son's teacher. She is AMAZING. She is a Saint. She is a great teacher. And she cares.

AsI have posted in the past, he had a pretty crappy grade one year. Histeacher gave up on him, and tried to attribute his lack of learning tobehavioural problems. My kid doesn't have behaviour problems. Well, thekind SHE was referring to anyways.

In September, my preciouslittle boy was at a reading level of a kindergartner. He's in gradetwo. As of yesterday, November 6, 2008, (we start school here the dayafter labor day) only 2 months into the school year, my son is now at areading level where a grade one would be at halfway through the gradeone year. Mrs. M said that no child who was that far behind should haveever been able to catch up so quickly. Braden will be caught up withhis peers in no time!!

Let's take a moment, shall we, while I try to unpuff my chest and wipe this big goofy smile off of my face.

... Nope. It's not gonna happen. I am one proud Mama!!

The little stinker has even started to write his own stories!
Iasked him if I could put his story on the computer and he thought thatwas pretty cool. He wants Auntie Shannon to read it to Aiden. (HiShannon!!)

"I like spiders in a tree and I see spiders in a tree and like our mpl {maple} tree and I like spiders in a tree."

"I like btrflae {butterflies} in the sky and I see btrflae in a sky and I like btrflae in a sky."

I like brds {birds} on the ground and I like the{m} in the sky"

(Igiggle when I look at his rendition of a bird, standing on theground...my poor kid has inherited my artistic abilities...or lackthere of! Hee hee!)

The coolest thing is, Mrs. M said once kidsstart writing out stories on their own "just because" is an AWESOMEsign they are well on their way to literacy. WAHOOO!!! GO Braden GO!!

ThursdayThirteen #4 (November 6, 2008)

2008-11-06T12:43:00.000-08:00

Here's a few things that really burn my butt. I have way too many pet peeves, ya think? This can't be good.

Thirteen Things about MY PET PEEVES

In no particular order:

1. The noise made when chewing with an open mouth.

2. Drivers who tailgate. I know gas is expensive, but you don't have to help by pushing. Thanks though.

3. People who go on and on and on about the same thing. All the time. Get over it, or get therapy. I am not a therapist.

4. Loud "thudding" or banging noises.

5. People (especially strangers) who tell me smoking is bad for me. Really? I had no clue. Thanks.

6.Hypochondriacs. No, just because you've been trying to get pregnant for3 weeks and aren't yet, does not mean you are infertile. And I assureyou that pimple on your chin is just that. A pimple. Not a canceroustumor. Pop it!!

7. People who don't fart. Come on! Let it out! If you don't, it travels up to your brain, and causes all those shitty ideas. :P

8. PeOpLE wHo tYpe LiKe tHiS. WhY? iT l00Ks wEIrD anD doEsN'T It TaKE LonGEr?

9.Those who make fun of my mom, dad, or sister. Yes, they just might actlike an idiot at times, but they're my idiots. Only *I* am allowed tosay it. Unless I've given you the "OK".

10. I hate readingnewspapers. When I'm done my fingers are all black from the ink. Ohyeah.. and It's smeared somewhere on my face that I don't know aboutuntil AFTER I come home from running an errand.

11. When myson starts every. single. sentence. with, "Hey, Mommy?" All. The. Time.42 sentences. 42 "Hey, Mommy's". Imagine that in a span of 10 minutes,let alone an entire day.

12. When my daughter finishes every.single. sentence. with, "Right Mommy?" All. The. Time. 42 sentences. 42"Right, Mommy's". Imagine that in a span of 10 minutes, let alone anentire day.

13. When I'm trying to show authority or I'm madat the kids and they do something really funny or cute. Kinda hard tostay upset or serious when your 2.5 year old daughter is "shakin' herboooooty" or your 7 year old son is trying to figure out why earwaxtastes so bad. :)

WW - "You invested how much money, WHERE?! HAHAHA! Sucka!" (November 5, 2008)

2008-11-05T12:41:00.000-08:00

I Seem To Be a Walking Brain Fart These Days (November 4, 2008)

2008-11-04T12:37:00.000-08:00

The other day when I was picking up Mackenzie from daycare, Susan, (mydaycare lady) bent over to talk to one of the kids. She stood up with acrinkled nose and said, "Whoops! I think someone pooped, but I don'tknow who it is."

Instead of checking to see if it was my daughter, I raised my arm and sniffed my armpit.

First of all, I don't make a habit of sniffing my armpits in private, let alone in the company of other adults.

Second,to my recollection, my pits have never smelled like shit. Ever. I'mfairly certain there is a strong distinction between BO and Crap.

Third... Mackenzie was the poopy pants culprit. I swear she does this crap (pardon the pun) to set me up.

~~~~~

When we got home I made the kids some chocolate milk that I had earlier promised.

Weliterally walked in the door and I headed straight for the kitchen.Made the chocolate milk as I told the kids to take off their shoes andcoats. I handed out said chocolate milk and headed to the living room.We had been home for a total of 8 minutes.

Hmmm. What's thatsmell? I brushed it off to my downstairs neighbour cooking. Wait. Idon't have a downstairs neighbour anymore. He moved out of the basementsuite a month ago. Alright. What's that smell? It smell hot. This isnot good.

I went into the kitchen and saw that the only stove element that I never use is on. And since That element is never used, there is a plate on it. With tinfoil. And on top of the tinfoil? An unopened bag of chocolate chips.

Ireach over, and turn the element off. then, being the smart, cleverwoman that I am, I grab the plate and remove it from the stove. HotDAMN! That's hot! Go figure. In a matter of minutes the plate hadcracked from the heat and half the chocolate chips were melted.

Thestove had been turned onto medium. I had to stop and think "When did Iturn it on?, why did I use that element?, and why didn't I turn itoff?? I NEVER leave the oven or stove on.

I know Braden wouldnever turn the stove on on purpose. I do know however, that he can dothings subconsciously. He may have been fiddling with the knob whilewaiting for his chocolate milk.

You know what I found out at bedtime?

It wasn't Braden.

It was Mackenzie!

I thought I *knew* someone was lying coughBradencough, OR that someone had been not paying attention coughBradecough. But I really didn't think it was Mackenzie!

Ididn't get mad at the kids. I explained the dangers of touching thestove and scared Mackenzie into thinking all of her prized possessions(you know, stuffed Nemo, Barbie movies etc) could catch on fire at themere thought of touching the stove again.

I haveheard that boys are "easier" than girls, but I also thought it that itwould be the boy's job to burn the house down. Not the girl!

~~~~~

Later that night, after the kids were in bed, I went to the kitchen to ~~get a midnight snack~~wash some dishes. I noticed the back door was unlocked. And ajar. Ipanicked. I had been home for hours, and never realized someone hadbeen in my house?!

Luckily God noticed I clearly could handleno more that day, as I was reminded by the giant blue recycling bagthat I had been tripping over all evening... After dinner that night, Iasked Braden to bring the recycle bag into the kitchen so I wouldn'tforget to put it out with the garbage the next day.

The good news is:

I'm not going the type of crazy I thought I was going.

The stove hadn't been on all day, or we would have come home to nothing.

My armpits do not smell like poo.

The bad news:

I forgot to put out the recycle bag the next day.
And went to bed with the back door still open, and didn't re-realize it until the next afternoon.

Give me a "D"! Give me a "U"! Give me an "H"!

Seriously now. Where is my padded room??

So There's This Ninja and A Princess... (November 3, 2008)

2008-11-03T12:34:00.000-08:00

...The ninja decided since the cousins he was trick-or-treating withall had painted faces, he must have a painted face too. Even though hewas adamant just hours earlier that ninjas would never wear face paint.Auntie Gina saves the day and paints a mask on the ninja. Crisisaverted.

ThePrincess is happy and excited to go trick-or-treating for her veryfirst time. She could have really cared less as to what she was dressedup as. Until she saw another princess. Wearing a tiara. And realizedshe had no head adornment of her own. So I put her raincoat hat on andexcitedly said "Voila!! Hooray!!"... ... ... And she was happy! Crisisaverted. Whew!

The kids kept asking where my costume was. Assholes.

Aftera while, I was getting exhausted. Who thought carrying around a 35pound almost 3 year old princess from door to door could be so tiring?So, what I would like to know, is why is "Da da da DA, Princess Kenzia"too tired to actually carry her bag when she actually allows me to put her down?

Afteran hour we decide to head back to my sister's place. Crap! No picturesof the whole gang together! How will we get 7 kids (my sis has 7 of herown, but the 2 teenagers were off doing their own thing) to stand stillfor a picture? It worked! Of course not everyone was looking at thecamera, but they stayed still!

~~Braden~~The ninja must have overheard me getting excited about eating some oftheir candy while they slept. So he assured The princess he wouldprotect not only his candy, but hers as well.

She thanked him with admiring looks and said "Oh Ninja! You're my hero!"

Later that evening, as the kids slept, ~~the greedy mommy~~I took a good look at their candy stash. What the heck? Where's all thebloody candy?! Forget that... Where the hell is all the chocolate?Sigh. The stash is not like I recall from last year. I would feelguilty if I was to eat any of this! (except for maybe the tootsie rolls)

Good work ninja! You protected the candy stash well after all

It's okay. I only feel like I'm dying. (November 2, 2008)

2008-11-02T12:05:00.000-08:00

I am so sick. I felt a little tired on Friday, and woke up in thefoulest mood yesterday. By mid morning I was miserable. Aaron and thekids were practically hiding from me. Smart. I hate when my nose is sostuffed I swear it is triple in size, and am shocked when all I see inthe mirror is a normal sized red chaffing schnoz.

Iknow I said I'd post pics from Halloween, but I'm not today. Maybetomorrow. If I don't die from this horrible cold/fever. And to topthings off? The kids won't let me call in sick today. They still demandto eat and stuff. Bullies.

NaBloPoMo (November 1, 2008)

2008-11-01T12:04:00.000-07:00

*Edited to add: Heh heh.. I forgot to leave the link for NaBloPoMo.You can still join up if you want. As long as you post before midnightyour local time. Again, you just have to post once a day for each dayof November.

NaBloPoMo - National Blog Posting Month.

Peoplesign up and post to their blog everyday for the month of November. 30posts in 30 days. Where I might win a prize. Woo. Hoo.
Wow. I am getting in deep. I am so flippin addicted to the whole blogosphere thing.

Doyou think if I make a t-shirt with the above picture on it, my kidswill leave me alone? "Oh. Look Mackenzie. Mommy has her 'leave me aloneI'm blogging' shirt on. Let's go do the dishes and take out the garbageuntil she's done." "Why, what a glorious idea Braden! Mommy wouldsurely appreciate that! While we're at it, let's scrub the toilet forher too!" *In unison* "SPLENDID!!" ... Ahhh... What?! It's MY fantasy,leave me alone!!

Today is the first day, so why not blog aboutit? I wasn't signed up before, but I almost made it 31 posts in 31 daysfor October. Well, I did have 31 posts, but I missed a day and postedtwice on another. Dang it!! Oh well. Not a big deal.

Tomorrow my friends, I shall post pics of the Ninja and the Princess. And the candy stash we got last night!

Upgrade (October 31, 2008)

2008-10-31T12:02:00.000-07:00

See this old, hard patio chair? It has been my computer chair for the last year and a half. It was free. Don't be jealous.

The other day my dad gave me a gift. Just for the heck of it. Oh yeah, and because it was on sale.

So now I sit at the 'puter in this:

(Don'tmind the white finger prints on the chair. I decided to let the kids gofor a spin before they were forever banished from the chair, andneglected to notice they had cream cheese still on their hands! I havezero excuse for the dirty floor... so just look at the chair, alrighty?Thanks...)

Talk about an upgrade!!

I don't think dad realised when he gave me this that I will be spending more time ~~neglecting the kids~~on the computer now. I don't have to get up as often to stretch, or toshake the pins and needles out of my ass. (I never realised where the body was capable of getting pins and needles before I had the patio chair!)

Thanks dad! Oh. And while we're at it, I could use a new bed. And a dishwasher. Oh, and maybe a new car? Just sayin...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TonightI have the honours of escorting a ninja and a princess all over theplanet. Mackenzie is so excited. This is her first year oftrick-or-treating, and she drools every time I mention the idea ofpeople giving her candy "just because". Braden has convinced himself hegets all of his candy plus half of Mackenzie's. HA! He might be a ninja and all, but I have no qualms about taking him on for my fair share!

I hope you all have a safe and fun Halloween!!

Thursday Thirteen #3 (October 30, 2008)

2008-10-30T12:01:00.000-07:00

Of course this one is going to be about Halloween. I'm not THAT original. Sheesh.

Thirteen Things about WHAT I DRESSED UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN AS A CHILD

1. Kindergarten - Witch

2. Grade 1 - The devil

3. Grade 2 - Ladybug

4. Grade 3 - Bunny Rabbit

5. Grade 4 - Punk Rocker

6. Grade 5 - Pirate

7. Grade 6 - Clown

8. Grade 7 - 3 Eyed Teenage Alien

9. Grade 8 - Vampire

10. Grade 9 - Vampire

11. Grade 10 - Ghoul

12. Grade 11 - Vampire

13. Grade 12 - Zombie

As you can see from my highschool years, grade 8 to grade 12, I was very original.

Wordless Wednesday - Intrigued (October 29, 2008)

2008-10-29T12:59:00.000-07:00

Sooo close!!! (October 28, 2008)

2008-10-28T12:58:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, Aaron and I took the kids to the grand opening of a local recreational facility. Everything was free.Hot dogs, pizza, fresh fruit, bottled water, ice skating, swimming,cotton candy, cake, etc. The list goes on and on. Free. Everything.

When we arrived, they had a little set up with hay bales and scarecrows. Which translates to "photo op!!"
The kids happily obliged to take a seat and grin for the camera. I focused in and pushed the button.

"beep. beep. beep"

Mybatteries. CRAP! Knowing that the camera sucks the batteries even drierwith the display window on, I turned it off and looked through the viewfinder. I took two pictures "just in case". The kids sat still theentire time, and looked right at the camera while I snapped away.Hoorah! Victory! I have decent pics of cooperating children! Wahoo!!

Wait. What's this?

Here's the first:

It had the potential to be "alright", but considering it's blurry...arg!!

And the second:

You can tell in this one that Mackenzie was "trying" to hold her smile and attention, whereas Braden just plumb gave up.

Dorks.

Would it have killed them to actually look at the camera?
Whatever. They were sitting still, had their hands to themselves and everything was free!

As for these pics? Priceless.

Klassic Kenzie (October 27, 2008)

2008-10-27T12:56:00.000-07:00

I think my daughter has some type of personality disorder.

Shesucceeds at convincing Grandma and strangers that she is a sweet,innocent little princess. Mackenzie aka - "Da da da DA, PrincessKenzia!!" Loves all things Barbie, Care Bears, Tinkerbell and theworks. When she wears dresses she holds them at the hem line, lifts thedress up a bit and twirls around for all those worthy to admire her.

She can't fool me. And I have the proof. See this picture? Oh yeah. Everything princess like is void from this scene.

(I think if you click on the picture, it might show up a bit bigger)

1 - Braden got that for a gift when he turned one. It still has the original batteries in it 6 years later. And they work.Mackenzie discovered this truck in August. Almost exactly 6 years tothe day that Braden got it. By the end of August,she decimated it. Shemanaged to rip the steering wheel and front wheels off. Now she scootsaround on it "steering" herself with her legs.
"But Mom-mmm-mmy. I'm just making it better for me. Right Mommy?"

2- No "princess" would allow herself to go outside with sandals on thewrong feet. Except Mackenzie when she's trying to convince you thatPrincesses don't mind. "Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. RightMommy?" Erm.. Sure sweety.

3 - This injury occurred when the"Princess" was chasing after a 4 year old little boy at daycare, so shecould smack him with a Barbie doll. Apparently he told her that she wastoo little to blow bubbles the "right" way.
"I was blowing the bubbles like a princess do, and then he made me really mad. Right Mommy?"

4- Stickers on the bandages - The ultimate healing power. She asked ifshe could use my "Mommy stickers cuz they's weally big stickies. RightMommy?"
"Mommy stickers" being my maxi pads. Ahem.

5 - Aclassic Kenzie face. As I was taking this picture, Braden was behind mesaying something to Mackenzie. I don't recall what he was saying, buther response was "the" look, followed by a low growl of "Nooooo'Baden'. NO. He's bothering me. Right Mommy?"

To avoid being onthe receiving end of "the" look, I will have to abide by the Princess.I shall call her "Princess Tomboy". RIGHT Mackenzie?????

Cha cha cha Chia!! (October 24, 2008)

2008-10-24T12:55:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here scratching my chin. Not because I am deep in thought. Oh no. It's because I shaved it. Yes. I Shaved. My. Chin.

This is not a regular habit. But you see, I had to do it.

On Saturday my boyfriend and I were sharing a cuddle on the couch. We were having a nice little chat about ~~our daughter's constipation and potty training efforts~~the meaning of life, when he looked thoughtfully into my eyes for amoment. As he was gazing oh so immensely, I realized he was touching mychin so very lightly. Awe, I thought to myself. He can be romantic. Then it tickled for a second.

So I touched my chin where he touched and felt a ~~10 foot long~~ 2cm long hair. Coming out of my chin.

"Aaron!! Were you... Are you... What the hell man? Why were..? ARG! You do NOT play with your girlfriend's chin hair! EVER!!"

He had a combined look of confusion and amusement plastered on his face.

"What?" he said, as he shrugged his shoulders. "So what? It's not like I was trying to braid it."

Braidit?? WTF? How long IS this sucker?? I stared at him with admonishment,and my hand cupping my chin. Is he really that effing clueless?

Igave him "the" look, and went to the bathroom to see how noticeable itreally was. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!! I'm turning into a fricken chia pet!!"Cha cha cha chia!! Cha cha cha CHIA!" The jingle played in my headover and over. I had SEVEN stray hairs on my chin. Looong hairs. I shityou not, the longest one was 2.5 cm long. (1 inch) I grabbed it with myfingernails and yanked. Did I get it? I don't see it... wait. What'sthat? I leaned in closer. I managed to grab the hair between my nailsand curled it. It friggin CURLED on me.

Eff that crap. Since Idon't own tweezers (yes I shave my uni-brow because I am a giant wuss)I grabbed my razor and shaved those little SOB's off!

And 6days later my chin is STILL itchy. And bumpy. Apparently it's not agood idea to dry shave. Anywhere. Including your chin. Regardless ofwho sees it. And plays with it. And how much time you have.

Well, off to Wal-Mart. I have to buy some ~~tweezers and anti itching cream~~ supplies.

Thursday Thirteen #2 (October 23, 2008)

2008-10-23T12:53:00.000-07:00

Thirteen Things about MY FAVOURITE...

1. Treat - Sleeping in past 8am. That might happen 3 times a year.

2. Colour - blue

3. Number - 11

4. Flower - Daffodil

5. Smell - Swiss Army cologne

6. Shirt - My grey hoody

7. Pants - Jeans I bought at Wal-Mart. They say size 6. I am a size 10/12. And they fit perfect.

8. Daily indulgence - Extra large English Toffee coffee from Tim Horton's.

9. Sound - A good old belly laugh from a child.

10. Words to hear - I love you Mommy

11. Song - Israel Kamakawiwo Ole's version of: Somewhere over the rainbow/what a beautiful world

12. Actor - Tom Hanks

13. Actress - Sandra Bullock

Taste test (October 21, 2008)

2008-10-21T12:52:00.000-07:00

Have you ever heard that joke:

"How can you tell there was an elephant in the refrigerator?"
"Because there were footprints in the butter"

Have you? Well, I have a new one for you:

"How can you tell the seven year old boy was mucking in the cupboards?"
"Because there's a finger streak in the icing."

That little SHITHEAD.

AsI posted yesterday, I have been on this baking/cleaning binge lately.Last night I grabbed the last container of icing out of the cupboard tofrost the cake. (Hey. Don't judge. I said yesterday I was fairly new tothis baking thing, so you can't expect me to be making homemade icingyet!!) I took off the lid and grabbed the "protective seal" to peel itaway. What's this? Hmmm. That came off pretty easy. Too easy. I glanceat the icing. A perfect little finger streak from the middle to theedge of the rim. Not deep. Just a surface test I suppose. I even had tostop and think, "Now when did I do this?" But I *know* I didn't. Thereis no way Mackenzie could ever have gotten up on the counter, let alonestop at one little taste test.

What gets me the most, is the little shit smoothed out the foil and bent it back down to make it look like it was never tampered with.

What a bloody genius.

Just too bad he didn't stick it in the fridge after. It has a gazillion year shelf life, but 2 weeks open in the fridge. I have no clue how long ago this happened, and was not going to take any chances. I had to throw it away.

I have to say it one more time...

What a little shithead!!!

Nesting? or Un-nesting (October 20, 2008)

2008-10-20T12:50:00.000-07:00

When I was pregnant with my son, I went through the entire pregnancywithout going through the "nesting" stage. Well, just barely. When Iwas 6 months pregnant with him, I went through a 3 day cleaning binge,cleaning and clearing the house out top to bottom.

ButI didn't really count that as nesting per say, as it was May, theofficial "Spring Cleaning" month. Everyone in our town house complexwas doing it.

When I was preggers with Kenzie, my "nesting"stage began on November 15th, around 5pm. I was 35 weeks, 4 day along.I gave birth to her almost 27 hours later.

I wonder now if I wasnesting because my body "knew" she was coming, or if rearranging theliving room (by myself...oops) pushed me into active labour.

The past few days I have been doing what I can only consider to be as nesting.

Wait.

No, I am NOT pregnant. Not even as in "I may be pregnant and am in denial type of pregnant". Just plain old NOT. PREGNANT.

So why am I finding the sudden urge to bake? I am NO Suzy homemaker. I just don't bake. The past week I have baked 2 cakes,2 loaves of pumpkin loaf and 3 loaves of banana bread. Not to mention Ihave de-cluttered significantly, to the point where I have bribed mygarbage man to take extra bags of trash (beyond the allowed 2 bags perhousehold rule) with the offerings of said banana bread and a flash ofmy boobs. OK, so I'm kidding about the last part. I want him to take the garbage, not send him running in holy terror at the sight of my sagging bags of flesh.

I digress...

Ihave even set up a date where my dad is going to come with his truckand take a load to the dump. I am very excited about this. Once thejunk gets out, I can arrange the bedrooms again to suit 3 people, not 6.

Iam at a loss. The only thing I can think of is my mind has finallyaccepted the fact that my nephews have gone back with their mom, and Ican move on from that chapter in my life. Seriously. That is the onlyfeasible explanation to this craziness.

So that makes me wonder.If we "nest" when we are expecting a new arrival, am I "un-nesting"because the boys aren't living here anymore? Is that possible??

Thatis all for now. I hear my sink calling. It's ready for it's nightlyshine, and I think I hear some dust trying to settle on the coffeetable...

When big brother is gone, the sister will play (October 18, 2008)

2008-10-18T12:49:00.000-07:00

Braden is off having some much needed bonding time with his grandpa, mydad. It's been quite a while since Braden has had a sleepover with his"Papa". He was very excited to go.

Usually,we get home around 3:30pm, have a snack and the kids go play untildinner time. Because Braden was off with my dad after school yesterday,it was just Kenzie and I. It's amazing how kids adapt to routine, andabide by it. As I was in the kitchen humming and hawing over what tomake for dinner, I heard Mackenzie yelling at her brother. She waspissed. "NO 'BADEEEEEEN!' I. SAID. NOOOOOO!!" She was freaking out. Icalled out "Mackenzie! Don't talk to your brother like that! Braden!Leave your sister alone!" Silence. Then quiet chatter.

Wait.

Didn't I say that Braden wasn't here?

YesI did. I walked to the bedroom not knowing what to think. I slowlypushed open the door to find Mackenzie holding Charla, our cat. Wholooked terrified. "Um. Mackenzie?" I said gently. "What?" Sheresponded. "Honey, were you just, um, yelling at your, uh, brother?"

Mackenziegrinned ear to ear. "Yes! 'Baden' at Papa's house, right Mommy? So Isay Charla is the 'Baden' and Charla bit my finger so I yell "NOOOOO'BADEEEEEEN', right Mommy?"

Ooookay...

I return to the kitchen, get my groove on and start dinner. Mackenzie is playing quietly so I snuck away to the computer to ~~get my daily fix of blog reading~~ check my email.

So I'm in "the zone". Apparently I was in the zone for quite a while before mommy instinct kicks in.

Swish. swooosh. Splash. "Mmmm. Smells like roses." (calling from a distance) "Mommy? My feet smell like roses now, right Mommy?"

Slowly I come out of my computer induced trance. "Mackenzie? Whatcha doing baby girl?" I ask as I begin to get up.

"Washing my feet."

Washing her feet? Wha..???

Now,I know I can get pretty lost once on the computer, but I know there isno way I would not hear the bathtub running. I don't think I'm going tolike what I see, I think to myself.

I walked into the bathroomto see my precious little princess sitting on the toilet. With her feetin it. Up to her knees. Not only were her lower extremities in the oleporcelain bowl, but a bar of homemade jasmine soap my mother broughtback from a recent trip to Indonesia for me was in it too. Half of itwas still covered in plastic.

I was immediately split into 3different people. Now I understand that long hesitation people have instrange or unexpected situations. Your body is fighting among it's selfas to which personality will take over.

Southern-lady-mommy-personalitysaid, "Oh dear Lord child! Your feet are in the stinky yucky toilet!Ew! we poop in there! Germs germs yucky evil germs!! Now we have toscrub you with a wire brush and throw the soap away!"

Boot-camp-drill-Sargent-mommy-personalitysaid, " MACKENZIE!! What are you DOING? We do NOT wash ANYTHING in thetoilet! EVER! YUCK! Now I have to throw away the soap that GRANDMA GAVEME!! AND I have to give you a bath NOW instead of AFTER dinner.SIghhhhhhhh."

Silly-mommy-who-thought-she's-seen-it-all-after-having-a-boy-personalitysaid, "Um.... Macken.... snort. giggle giggle. Ha. HA.BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHBWAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

I'mso glad that personality No 3 won. That was one of the funniest thingsever. If I knew where my dang camera was, I would have taken pictures!It was priceless. No Mackenzie. Your feet do not smell like roses. Thatis called Jasmine.

And I'm keeping the soap.

Mommyhood Q's & A's (October 17, 2008)

2008-10-17T12:48:00.000-07:00

It took me forever to fill out the answers. I thought I'd have it donein 5 minutes. Silly me. Surprisingly it was harder than I thought.

Copy and paste. Fill out your own answers (duh) and voila! Some of the questions sure make you think!

I would never: tell my children I wish I never had them

I always: Kiss, hug, and tell them I love them at bedtime. Even if they've been little shits All. Day. Long.

I got an easy ride when it came to: Temper tantrums. I have been able to distract/ talk through/avoid tantrums about 98% of the time.

The part I dislike most about parenting is:Having them start EVERY SINGLE FLIPPING SENTENCE WITH "Mommy" I'mLISTENING, and have been listening for the last 10 minutes. No need to"renew" my attention! I'm SO changing my name, and not telling themwhat I changed it too!!

The part I love most about parenting is:Watching them achieve new milestones, and knowing that they love me nomatter what. Even when I've been a grumpy bear, smell like the ass endof road kill, and made them eat their veggies. They still want cuddlesand hugs and kisses. :)

My terrible parenting secret is: We eat in front of the TV. A lot.

I would describe my approach to discipline as: Too strict/uptight

My worst parenting habit: I yell.

The one thing I am really proud of is: My kids say please and thank you most of the time. Without being prompted.

I probably am too lenient when it comes to: Easing off on discipline. (ie - make a 3 day grounding into 2 days)

I hope my kids inherit my: Imagination and to be able to find a positive in ANY situation

I hope my kids don’t inherit my: Stubbornness and Big giant flipper feet

I love that my kids are: Funny and imaginative

The thing I miss most about my pre-mom days is: The ability to just up and leave any time I want

Motherhood is: Really frickin hard. But so totally worth it once the kids are in bed. Asleep. ;)

Thursday Thirteen #1 (October 16, 2008)

2008-10-16T12:46:00.000-07:00

Okay. I've been blogging now for about5 months, the last 2 months regularly. It's time to try something new,so I'm going to do the "Thursday Thirteen". I hope to be consistentwith it. (It's harder than it looks!!) Here goes...

Thirteen Things about YOUR NAME

1. Lana

2. Old people say it's a beautiful name

3. Kids tormented me

4. "Lana banana" is a fantastic rhyme. That made me want to murder at the age of 8.

5. They liked calling me "Lana the Llama" while bleating like a lamb.

6. Unintentionally, my parents named both my sister and I after sex goddesses of the 60's. (Lana Turner and Gina Lollobrigida)

7. Read my name backwards. Yeeeaaaah... I discovered that one when I was 11, Thought my parents must have hated me.

8. 60% of the time people call me "Launa". Nope. It's Lana. LA-nah.

9.25% of the time, people call me "Alana". I will correct this once. Ifit continues, I will call them Adave. or, Ashannon, or asteve, orabetty.

10. In Spanish and Latin, my name literally translates to "wool" or "fleece".

11. I (briefly) considered naming my daughter "Lanaya" (La-NAY-ah) just so I could have my name in hers.

12. I'm still a bit bitter about point number 7. Although, once I point that out, I'm never called "Alana" again. Go figure.

13.After attending a total of 5 schools (4 elementary, 1 high school), itwasn't until grade 9 that I met another "Lana". (To all you"Jennifer's, Amanda's and Nicole's, please don't hate me!!)

Uhg (October 15, 2008)

2008-10-15T12:45:00.000-07:00

I'm playing hooky from work today. I feel so disgusting. I slept likecrap, woke up every half hour and feel like I have to barf.

Lovely.

Asmiserable and uncomfortable I would be at work today, I still feelguilty calling in. I always feel guilty about calling in. I hate that!So many people take advantage of a "sick day" and don't think twiceabout it. And then there's me. I think I'll get in trouble orsomething. Today I don't care...yet.

So I'm off to get the kidsready and distribute them to school and daycare. See? I'm REALLY takingthe day off. Thank goodness for daycare.

I'm going to go die now, but hopefully I'll be resurrected in time to pick the kids up this afternoon.

Groan. Moan. My gut's are rolling. I need gravol and Imodium. Anyone? Anyone?? Sigh.

Later people.

She's not as innocent as she looks (October 14, 2008)

2008-10-14T12:43:00.000-07:00

InDecember, I received a message from an old friend asking if I would beinterested in taking his cat. He is a single dad who has been raisinghis 3 year old daughter since she was 6 months old. He had to move to abigger place, but he was not able to take his cat, as the people wholived upstairs (he was moving into a basement suite) has a little boywho had horrible asthma, plus a terrible allergy to cats. It broke hisheart as "Charlotte" was literally born on his lap 2 and a half yearsprevious.

I agreed to take her. But I had to rename her. In myopinion (my opinion, my personal preference only!!) I think it's kindof weird to name animals "people" names. I wanted to try to keep itclose to "Charlotte", so I decided on renaming her "Charla". Had Ithought about it a bit, I should really have waited until she showed memore of her personality. (which was hard, considering for the first 3weeks of being here, she lived in my walls. Don't ask.)
Had I waited, I would have named her something like "Tripper", or "killer Dust Bunny".

Charlais the sweetest cat ever. She is quiet unless looking for me. At nighttime when the kids are in bed, and I'm at the computer, she'll sink outof my room softly mewing. She'll meow until I say "I'm right herebaby." Then she's quiet again. She isn't one of those "In your face"kind of cats either. She'll come over, hop in my lap to enjoy a goodpetting, and jump down when she has had enough. She's just in generalthe perfect cat match for me.

Well, other than the fact she's trying to kill me.

Atfirst I thought it was adorable how when I got up to go to thekitchen/bed/bathroom/answer the phone, she would jump up from herseemingly unconscious state of slumber to walk with me to where I wasgoing. The faster I walk, the faster she walks. I slow down, so doesshe. Cute, right? WRONG!!! It's all fine and dandy 'till she drops tothe ground right in front of me rollingaround looking all cute, "asking" for attention. I am talking RIGHT ATMY FEET, in mid stride. walk walk walk walk DROP.

The first182 times this happened, I would say her name, almost like a warning of"EGAD!! MOVE before I step on you!" I dodged her so many times. Shealmost made me drop Mackenzie once. I was taking Kenzie out of the bathand bringing her to the living room. Charla, one step ahead of me,WHAMO! Drops to the floor like a sack of potatoes. I stumbled and endedup kicking her with one foot and stepping on her tail with the other. Iwill never forget the sound she made. At the time I thought it was asound she made when hurt. I'm pretty certain I was wrong. Now I knowshe was pissed at herself that her attempts to kill me were foiled. Sheprobably thought she would get double points because I was carryingprecious cargo.

I've since learned that as she's trying to pulloff her murder scheme, to hiss and say "phfffft" quite loudly. It makesher nervous and pushes her furry little ass a bit quicker to get out ofmy way.

But silly me. She's been watching and learning. Now sheknows while I am busy in the mornings getting ready for work, gettingBraden ready for school, and Mackenzie ready for daycare, that I amdistracted. The other day we were ready to head out the door. As I washeading down the stairs to leave, the little fur ball stopped on thestair. I didn't see her, and stepped on her just enough to registerwhat it was and proceeded to slide down 5 stairs on my keester whilehanging on to the banister. I believe I sounded like this - "whatth..CHARLAAAAEIYAAHAHHOOOOOOYOUCH!!" mix in with that about 5 goodsounding *THUD*s. Oh yeah. And Braden and Mackenzie's screams of"MOMMY! You broke the cat! Why did you step on poor Charla? Aweee poorCharla". They crooned. WHAT ABOUT ME?!?! It was pointless to tell a 7and 2 yr old that I could have actually stepped on her harder to save my arse, but nooo.

Then Charla looked me dead in the eyes and said with a menaced tone, "Next time lady. Just you watch. Oh yes. Next. Time."

The doctors said I must have banged my head in the process, but I know what I heard. Oh yes. I do.

Happy Thanksgiving!... (October 13, 2008)

2008-10-13T12:42:00.000-07:00

...Well, to my Canadian friends anyways! I had my turkey dinner onSaturday, then ate turkey for lunch and dinner again yesterday. I'mglad Thanksgiving is in October. If it were the same as in the States,I don't know if I could appreciate turkey again at Christmas as much!

Offto work today. Don't want to go, but at least I'll be getting time anda half. I wonder how many customers will be ordering turkey for lunchtoday.

Have a good day everyone!

Family Dinners (October 11, 2008)

2008-10-11T12:41:00.000-07:00

Today we are heading over to my mom's house for dinner. Thanksgivingdinner. Mmm. Turkey and all the trimmings. Thanksgiving is actually onMonday, but today is the only day mom has off of work this week. Worksgreat for me!

Upuntil about 5 years ago, Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Boxing Day,and News Years day, the entire family got together to eat, visit, andcelebrate. As our family gets older, cousins get married and havefamilies of their own, and "share" these holidays with their in-laws.My mom and her sisters (who are the one's who take turns hosting thesefamily get togethers) have decided to not to have "big" celebrationsanymore. Now it's more imediate family dinners. With the exception ofChristmas.

I find it sad. I wish I a bigger place. Even thoughit would be a lot of work, it would be worth it to have the entirefamily together for a few hours.

So, I have decided that onceI have a bit more money rolling in, I'm going to start having a familydinner every second Saturday. I'll deligate to certain family memberswhat they can bring for a meal contribution. (would it be wrong to askfor a monitary donation?? I kid!! I kid!!) It will only be my mom, dad,sister and her 7 giblets, myself and my tribe. If it works out, thenmaybe I'll invite a few more every once in a while.

I thinkit's important for my kids to have that. I grew up having a SUndaydinner with the entire family at my grandma's every week. Then shemoved to a much smaller place, and those Sundays became obsolete.

Wish me luck! I think I'll start that in about 3 weeks. I'll let you know how things went!

Imagine that! (October 10, 2008)

2008-10-10T12:39:00.000-07:00

I've always had an over active imagination. Going swimming in a lake asa child had me fearing for my life almost every time, as I swam back toshore. I was pretty sure a shark was going to get me. But only if I hadmy back to the rest of the lake. I wouldn't let up on my fear until Imade it to shore, got out of the water and turned around to look at thelake. Then all was well again.

Ican go down a flight of stairs just fine. But to this very day, I haveto *RUN!!* upstairs if I am alone. I hold my breath and bolt it. Thevery nano second I reach the top, I have to turn around to make surethere is no creepy ghost/zombie/monster thing chasing me, or reachingfor me with bloody, elongated arms. Yes. Even in my own house. Yes, Isaid to this very day.

As a child I rarely had nightmares. Mynightmares occurred while I was just dozing off, but still awake. Ithought for sure hands resided under my bed. I had to be in the verycenter of my bed, and have nothing but my face sticking out of theblanket. I was positive if I left one mm of skin exposed, these handswould come up from all sides of the bed and get me.

I havebeen very blessed. Nothing traumatic ever happened to me, other than anoccasional spanking for telling a whopper of a lie. I have no cluewhere these silly fears arise from.

Except one.

When Iwas either 8 or 9 years old, my dad let me stay up and watch the movie"The Silver Bullet". Oh. My. God. It's a werewolf movie, and gave menightmares on and off until I was about 18 years old. I hate hate HATEbeing outside in the dark. Alone. Even at almost 30. Because I know awerewolf will get me. I know it.

Growingup, my parents would take my sister and I to Manitoba every summer andalmost every other Christmas. From BC to Manitoba, it was usually a 3day, 2 night trip. (Depending on how heavy dad's foot was). We learnedfairly young to not depend on dad stopping at rest stops or gasstations. We just held it as long as we could, and 3 seconds before wewould burst, dad would pull over and let us do our thing in the bushes.I hated it. No one would come with me, or stay with me. mom was busydoing her thing while rushing us back to the car. My sister is 7 yearsolder than me, not to mention quite the prude. So at 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 etcyears of age, I would sloowly check my surroundings forbears, man eating plants and rabid squirrels. The only thing edging meon was my full bladder promising to explode on me should I not go peenow!

After being yelled at to hurry up a few times, I'd finallyhunker down and do my business. All the while knowing something wasgoing to bite my butt. When I was done, I'd run like I have never ranbefore straight to the car, with I'm sure a combined look of relief andterror on my face. Strangely, questions were never asked.

Istill have to look down an out house toilet before I do my thing, justin case... You know, just in case any of those wild BC crocodiles areout and about, waiting to prey on me bum.

Flash forward to this past July.

Everysummer in Vancouver we have "The Celebration of Lights". It's wickedfireworks played in time with coordinated music. Different countriescompete for the best show, and there's a huge finale at the end of thesummer. Aaron (my boyfriend), my sister, and myself went. (No kidsWOOHOO!!) The end came and it was time to go. We had quite a walk toget back to the sky train, and I had to pee so bad. I couldn't take itanymore. I let Aaron and my sister convince me to pee between 2 garbagedumpsters. They stood in front of me, with their backs to me of course,and all was well. I was in my glory. Ahh! The sweet relief! Sigh.Almost done. Wait. What was that? A strange sound emoted from my mouth"aieyAYAYAIEIAAAYYHHHHH!!!!! SOMETHING TOUCHED MY ASS!!! GAK! EGAD!" Atthis point, my sister and boyfriend still refused to turn around. Thebastards were laughing at me. They were clueless that my worstnightmare was coming true, and some goblin was trying to eat me.

Keepin mind I'm squatting between 2 dumpsters in a back alley in Vancouver,with my ass hanging out and a river of pee coming out. (niiice, I know,eh?) Something touches my ass again. I swear to God I'm thinking ahomeless person was trying to cop a feel. I try scooting forward just asmidgen, but think soundly that I'd rather get felt up by a hobo thanpee on my shoes. As I'm edging forward oh so slightly, I noticesomething amiss. My purse. Is behind me. On the ground. Touching mybum. And getting peed on. My highly absorbent cotton/denim purse.

I never would have imagined that.

Braden Part 3 (October 9, 2008)

2008-10-09T12:38:00.000-07:00

Show me a perfect parent. Well? Exactly. I definitely am NOT one. Ihave made so many mistakes, and I know I will continue to make them.But I feel this one is a doozy.

Thepast week or so has made me realise something horrible. Horrible andtrue. I gave up on my son. I gave up on him a very long time ago. Inever realised this until about a week ago. Don't get me wrong. I lovehim with all my heart and soul. I would die for him. But along with hisgrade one teacher, I too have "failed" him. I am quick to hush him.When he starts jabbering on with some story then continues on and onand on, and ends up WAY off topic. It's annoying, so I shush him. Orgive him a quick "Yeah yeah, mm hmm. Ok." And he's so LOUD. The more hetalks, the louder he gets. The louder he gets, it's like he distractshimself, and the further off topic he gets.

What I am about topost, is very emotional for me. I feel so very very guilty. A guilt Ihave never felt before, and I hope I can forgive myself soon. I hopeBraden will not hold it against me, and that everything will be okay. Ifeel I have severely effed up.

So Braden's grade 2 teacher isamazing. She got to know each and everyone of the students beforehitting the curriculum. She knows my son. She knows how he works.Shouldn't it have been ME?

About the second week of school, Mrs.M came to me after school and said that Braden was calling out a lotpreviously, but he was doing very well with trying, and she cold seethat. She very gently and kindly told me that one of her personalfriends of many years was a speech therapist. She wondered if by anychance his loud voice and calling out had anything to do with some sortof speech problem. I didn't think much of it. She already had earnedBraden and my trust. I told her to go ahead and set up an in schoolappointment. I really didn't think anything of it. They (Braden and thespeech therapist *Mrs. D*) had an informal meeting, where she said shethought she could work with him. Monday, Braden met with her again fora formal evaluation.

Turns out my son has a language barrier.She described it to me as his brain being like a messy room. He has allthese thoughts and ideas, but they can't come out "the right way". Ifsomeone reads a story to him and asks him to relay the story back,he'll start at the middle, go to the end, talk about fish and koalabears then finish with the beginning of the story. *DUH* I thought thiswas Braden not focusing. I thought this was my kid not paying attentionbecause maybe he had better things to do. I thought he was trying tomake me go grey. I am a stubborn selfish woman. If I had just put myanger aside last January when I received that letter, and taken my sonin for "testing" WOULD the doctors have tested for a language barrier? Could I have made the last 9 months a lot easier on my poor baby?

Braden is dealing with a vicious cycle, and this ALL MAKES SENSE now. And this is why I am very angry at myself.
Whenhe has something to say, he gets off topic quite easily. MANY times Ihave to tell him to take a deep breath and focus on what he needs tosay. If not, he'll end up jumping all over the place (kind of what I amdoing with this post apparently) and getting louder and louder.Sometimes in the middle of a sentence he'll just stop and say heforgot. Sometimes I am relieved by this. *hanging head in shame*

I was told that what he is struggling with, is when he is talking, he gets louder because he knows, he knowsthat people will start losing interest in him. Which causes his brainto think panic mode and blurts out part of what he's saying. IS thismaking sense? Am I making sense?

I remember when he was about 3or 4, he could NOT say the word "yellow". he said "lellow" Cute, right?I thought so. Sometimes I would get him to try to say it correctly.When he got the "ye" sound out, he would stammer. It would end upsounding like "ye-ye-Yell-YELL-YELLOW!!!". He would end up SHOUTING it.I thought it odd, but funny. And it was the only word he ever did itwith. Was that a sign I should have picked up on? No. Of course not.But I AM kicking my ass. I had a snotty thought that at the end ofgrade two when he was doing so well, I would go and have a little chatwith the principle, and maybe the gr 1 teacher. (I hold grudges, whatcan I say) But wait. *I* didn't take him in for testing. I know theywanted him tested for ADD/ADHD, but what if. I know the what ifs arehorrible, and the best of the best parents can waste away dwelling onwhat ifs. So I'm going to try not to. I'm going to try to pull mybitter ass into gear and get done for my son what needs to be done.

Alongwith feeling horribly guilty, I am also relieved. In a strange way, Iam also excited. I will get to witness my son transitioning. Being ableto get out ideas without me impatiently waiting for him to "get to thepoint already" or telling him to shush up. This obviously will not bean overnight thing. The school will be involved, as well as myself. I*DO* hope that it will strongly improve his self confidence. I need tolearn how to help with that. I cannot imagine what I have done to helphim feel inadequate. A little boy wanting to tell his mommy something.All he wants is to converse with me, and I tell him to shush becauseit's getting annoying that he's YELLING IN MY FACE and he's has zerotopic to chat about.

Mrs. M. said that Braden has alreadyprogressed significantly with his school work. I beamed. Tears came tomy eyes. I am SO SO SO very proud of my boy. Last night I vowed tomyself that I will not give up on my son. Even though I fought toothand nail last year to "protect" my baby, I really had, in a way, givenup on him too. This is making me cry... it's too easy to get home fromwork/school/daycare, get a snack for the kids, send them off to playand "unwind" in front of the computer, and tell them I need quiet time.I say I need to work M-F 9am to 3pm so I can be at home with the kids.To do what? "SHUSH THEM??" Sigh.

Braden and Mackenzie. I loveyou more than you will EVER know. EVER. There will be times that youhate me, love me, think I'm the best, think I'm the worst. I promisewhatever I do it's because I am trying to it for your well being. I mayhave to tell you to be quiet sometimes, but I will do my damnedest tonever shush you again. The saying "kids should be seen, not heard" is abunch of crap, and I am so so sorry.

Braden & his grade one experience. Part 2 (October 8, 2008)

2008-10-08T12:36:00.000-07:00

So after our little chat about using the term "potty",I realized that this teacher had her priorities in a big ole funk. Fromthis point on, I referred to her as trying to make my child into alittle robot. One that would conform and do exactly as SHE pleased.

BeforeI continue, I must say that Braden is not a perfect little angel. Hecan be a handful at times. Sometimes he gets an idea in his head, andwhatever the consequences might be, he has to do it. Hence the teacherdescribing him as impulsive. Example - "Braden, do not knock overlittle Jimmy's Lego tower." "What? THIS one?" BAM. "Oops. I'm sorry" Or"Braden, Don't run in the.. DON'T run in the.. BRADEN!! STOP RUNNING INTHE BLOODY HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!"

Also, as I believed I may havementioned before, I don't think Mrs. U. is a bad teacher. I think andthought at the time, that she was a bad teacher for my son. She hadjust come back after one year mat leave, thrown into a K/1 split thatshe made very clear she didn't want, and had her own personal issues. Iwasn't always a bitch to her. I did (really!) try to empathise with hersituation, but a lot of her behaviour was still unacceptable.

Abouta week after the "potty" incident, I told her very nicely that I didn'treally feel comfortable with hearing about other students for 2reasons. One, That my concerns were for Braden, and unless thecomplaints regarding the other student directly involved my son, Ididn't want to hear it. Two, I told her that I was concerned that shewas discussing my son with other parents. She surprised the shit out ofme. She looked taken aback at first, then apologized profusely. Sheagreed that it was very unprofessional, and that she didn't evenrealise she was doing it. She said she wouldn't anymore, and thankedme. Sincerely. As far as I know, she kept her word.

Atferthat, she began relaying positives back to me. "Braden is so helpfuland caring." "Braden is excelling in math." "Braden is the sweetest andmost adorable little boy ever". Okay, so she didn't say the last part.But we all know she wanted to, right? ;) Things calmed down for awhile, and I heard nothing until January.

January. January was aBAD month to piss off mama bear. I just went from single mom to 2 kidsto single mom of 5. That's when my nephews came to live with me. About2 weeks after Christmas holidays were over, Braden brings home a letterin his backpack. This letter said they would like to have Braden testedfor any possible learning disabilities that may be detrimental to hisschooling. They. "They" were the teacher, principle and 2 "high upper"school people. What I found out, was it is illegal for a school orteacher to request for ADD/ADHD testing. (In Canada anyways)But that isEXACTLY what they wanted him tested for. I stewed for a while. Iwondered if I was blinded and if my son really did have a major issuethat I have been denying, or just couldn't see. My "instincts" told methat no, Braden does not have a learning disability. I bounced it offof almost everyone who knew Braden and I. I asked the same thing toeveryone. "Am I missing something? Am I in denial? Am *I* failing myson? Do you really think he could have ADD/ADHD?" Every single person Ispoke with said an emphatic "No." I even spoke with his angel of akindergarten teacher. One of my family members is a teacher. All said"No way."

Then I found this out.

There were 9 grade onekids. 5 boys, 4 girls. 4 boys and one of the girls received thisletter. What the hell are the chances that FIVE children from the sameschool, let alone the same CLASSROOM could have ADD/ADHD or ANY type oflearning disability? You can't imagine how livid I was. So Iwrote my own letter. It was firm, polite, (I didn't swear in it once!!)and to the point. I wasn't getting my son tested, as there has beenZERO feedback on my son's education. Not once was I told he was behindin anything. If there had been an issue regarding his schooling, I toldthem I was sure they would come to me. Right? Since all the complaintswere that Braden wasn't "up to par" with behaviour, but he wasn't "bad"either. (Their words!)

Things died down for a while. One day,at the end of May, when I was waiting to pick up my nephew from theother kindergarten class, Mrs. U. told me very shocking news.

Herexact words were, "I don't know how or why I missed it. But we did ourreading assessment with the kids today. I don't know what happened, andwhy I didn't catch it before. But Braden's reading level is very farbehind." I felt my heart drop for my son. I remained very calm and said"How far behind?" She replied, "At this time of year I like to see thekids at a level 14-16. Braden is at a level 5-6." I wanted to punchher. She has been "teaching" my kid for the past 9 months and he is ONEREADING LEVEL HIGHER THAN HE WAS IN KINDERGARTEN?!?! I gritted my teethas she continued. "He is a bright kid. I've always seen it, but henever wanted to apply himself fully. I honestly don't know how heslipped under the radar. I Do want you to know that Braden has taughtme a lot about teaching this year." I wanted to throw her to theground, punch in her face and rip her hair out. Well, LA TI FLIPPING DAMy son taught HER. I'm pretty sure from this post and the previous postyou can generate a pretty good idea yourself as to why she "failed tocatch her mistake."

Stay tuned for the finale of "Braden &his grade one experience." It's gonna be a good one and make you shakeyour head. It'll contain where Braden is now!!

*** To add toyesterday's post - after Kenzie woke up, she was DRY! I ran her to thebathroom, and she peed an ocean! Then she pooped at daycare AND at homeON THE POTTY!! We are well on our way. YAY!! I'll back off on the pottyupdates now. For a while, anyways. I MIGHT wait till she's inunderwear. Maybe. Okay reader? Hi SHANNON!! (*if* there's anyone else..say hi so I know who's out there!:))

Poop Update Number 2 (pun intended) (October 7, 2008)

2008-10-07T12:35:00.000-07:00

The very day I posted regarding Kenzie & potty training,Mackenzie took a giant crap. In her diaper. And didn't pee on the pottyonce. That was Saturday. Same with Sunday. Sunday night she told me shehad to poop, so I ran her to the bathroom and...she sat there. and satsome more. Nothing. Turns out the little bugger just wanted stickers. Ihad to explain that something had to come out for a sticker. I thoughtI would have a fight on my hands, but surprisingly she seemed okay withthat. Whew! Crisis averted!

Yesterday at daycare I was informedthat she didn't poop at all. She did pee though. In her diaper. ARG!!This little girl likes to keep me on my toes however. She went from2:00pm to 8pm dry! She told me twice that she had to pee, and she madeit to the toilet both times! By 8:00pm her diaper was still dry! WOOHOO!! I'm guessing it's going to be a "2 steps forward, one step back"type of potty training, but you know what? I'm actually okay with it.Keep up the good work Miss Princess Kenzia!! You're doing just fine.And don't mind Mommy when you see her neck twitching, okay?

Braden & his grade one experience. Part 1. (October 6, 2008)

2008-10-06T12:34:00.000-07:00

I promised to post about Braden's grade one experience. I have briefly touched base in previous posts, but will now elaborate.

The3rd day of grade one, (which was technically 2.5 days, as the first daywas a half day) His teacher asked me if his birthday was late in theyear. I said no, he just turned 6 at the end of July. Why? She replied"Well, he just seems so...young". Um. He's SIX.

Before Icontinue, I must note that she has just come back after a year ofmaternity leave (thank you Canada!!), and is used to teaching onlykindergarten. Not a kindergarten/grade one split. There were 9 gradeones and 12 kindergartners

The 4th day of school Mrs. U. saidshe did not want Braden and this other boy in the same class. Now, itwasn't just these tow things that were said that made my red flags goup. It was a feeling. That mother instinct feeling.

After Mrs.U. told me she didn't want these students in the class together, I said"FINE! I'll see what I can do." I didn't want him in the split classanyways, and *knew* this was going to be a challenging year. Boy, isthat an understatement!

So I marched my butt down to see theprinciple, told him I wanted my son switched to the other grade oneclass, where he tells me, "As a rule, I make no classroom switchesduring the first week of school. See how next week goes, and if youfeel the same way, we will rectify this." Okay. Fine. Fair enough. Ilet it go the entire next week. Monday to Friday I hear moaning,whining, and complaining from the teacher. Not about my son. But about other students!How unprofessional! I certainly don't want my son discussed with otherparents, and I'm sure other parents feel the same way! So the Mondayafter the second week of school, I go in to speak with the principle tohave Braden switched. He said No. HUH? Excuse me?? WHY NOT. He tells me"As a rule, I NEVER make changes to the classroom list after the secondweek." I was SO mad I couldn't say. a. word. I repeated what he told meand he squirmed. I told him I TRIED talking with him on Friday afterschool but he wasn't there. I want a change NOW. I honestly don'tremember what he said to convince me. I do recall telling him if theteacher continued to be this unprofessional, I WOULD have somethingdone.

Now, keep in mind, I am very outspoken...with friends,family and people that I know I won't see again or very often. I do getintimidated though quite easily. I have never been a mother to a gradeone kid before. I had NO CLUE as to how much input I had over theteachers/school.

In October, the teacher called a meeting.Her, the teacher who taught on Friday's, the principle and Braden'sWednesday teacher...from kindergarten, plus the other grade one teacher. The reasons for this meeting?

1- Braden's behaviour. He stuck his middle finger out at another studentat lunch time. Who, incidentally, ADMITTED it was him who taught my kidthat, and that Braden didn't know what it meant. Until AFTER theteacher told him what it meant! There was no meeting for this boy.

2- Braden went pee to much. He left the classroom multiple times a dayto go to the washroom. "Does he ask, or just leave?" I questioned. "Heasks", says the teach. I asked her "what do you tell him?" Sheresponded "I say 'If ya gotta go, ya gotta go!" I told her the bathroomtrips were her issue, not mine. All I could tell him was not to go ifhe didn't have to, but if the teacher was going to let him, How is thatMY issue?

3 - Braden turned the bathroom light off on anotherstudent who was using the washroom. (It's a single toilet bathroom withthe switch on the outside) She said that when he did it, he laughed and"told on himself" saying "Ha ha ha!! I just turned off the light on soand so!" The teacher was mortified and disgusted. She said she couldn'tunderstand why he would do something like that and find it funny. Ilaughed. The laughter didn't go over well. They kept trying to tell mehow dangerous it was and yada yada yada. I interrupted and said "MaybeBraden "told on himself because what he did was FUNNY. Not BAD. Maybeinappropriate, but not bad." Mrs. U. said, "well I just don't knowwhere he would get that from!" So I laughed more, and said "Maybe fromme! *I* do that to him sometimes. He turned the light on right away,right?" She nodded. They ALL squirmed in their chairs.

Mrs. D(his Wednesday kindergarten teacher) was asked how his behaviour wasthe last year. (the principle was new last year. That's why he didn'tknow him. *side note. Braden was NEVER sent to the office) All shecould say was "He was always running in and out of the classroom. Inone door and out the other. Know what I told her? The truth. I said"First of all, what you have to say here I would like to be ignored.This is a new year, a fresh start and you only taught him once a week.Not ONE SINGLE TIME was there EVER ANY complaint about my son lastyear. Not. ONE. As for him running in and out of the class? I canassure you, as I witnessed myself, the only time thathappened was Wednesdays. Not to mention, Braden wasn't the only one,was he?" She looked down and admitted (although stuttering andstammering) that yes, there were quite a few other kids who did it too.

Sometime in November I really realized that Mrs. U. was notteaching children. She was trying to conform them. I don't think shedid it on purpose, but here's why I now refer to her as wanting torobotize my child.
She came to me after school one day and saidthat Braden said "potty" a lot. I thought she meant he was being a shithead and just kept saying "potty" over and over again to be annoying.WRONG.
She continued with, "I think at this age kids should besaying "washroom" or "bathroom" instead of "potty". It just soundsbetter. Maybe you could work on this at home with him?"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I looked at her with my eyebrows raised and said"*I* say 'potty'. My 1.5 year old say "potty". I don't care what hesays as long as it isn't 'Yo teach! I gotta go piss and take a crap!'"

IALMOST had her laughing. Probably from shock though. She changed hertune a bit. She said "well, I just don't want him to get teased if he'sthe only one saying it." I replied, "If Braden starts getting teasedbecause of what he's saying, I'm pretty sure he'll change it on hisown. Also, I would expect that as a teacher, you would discourageteasing?" She looked dumbfounded and nodded her head. I was PISSED.

Stay tuned for part 2, coming soon to a blog near you!

Poop update!! (October 4, 2008)

2008-10-04T12:31:00.000-07:00

The other day I posted about Mackenzie's potty regression. I would like to announce that everyday since Thursday she has pooped on the potty! WOOHOO!! ~~Bribing~~Rewarding her with Tinker Bell stickers has worked some magic. It tooka day or two, but has worked so far nonetheless. She still won't pee onthe potty though. Again, I'm not going to push her. She had alreadyshown me she was 100% capable of poopin' on the pot, so I'm continuingwith the ~~desperate pleas~~ encouragement.

We did havea teeny tiny minor meltdown here though on Thursday evening. It seemsthe funds had run a tad low, as well as the pull-up supply. So I had toface some humility and head to the coughfoodbankcough to get somesupplies. They had no pull-ups. Uh Oh. They did have size 6 diapersthough, which was awesome. Awesome for me. Not so much for Mackenzie.At home she runs around naked noody (thank you for hardwood floors!!)but come bedtime I had a VERY offended little girl.

"I need a pull-up on now mommy"

Um...

"Okay sweety. But I don't have any right now."

Blank stare...

"I DO have some diapers though."

Thelook on her face made Braden leave the room. I could just see Bradenthinking, Mom, you messed up BAD. The look on her face also made metalk really sweet. And very fast.

"Oh-hunny-the-store-was-out-of-pull-ups-because-someone-else-must-have-needed-them-before-we-did." *Switch to fake happy and overly excited voice*"But we're just going to use these until mommy can get to the store andbuy you some real pull-ups. Ok? Sweety-pie-princess-Kenzia??"

I held my breath. I seriously held my breath. I had no idea how this child was going to react...

"Okay mommy!"

and..... exhale! Whew!

**Noteto self - What's one bounced cheque when it comes to the option ofpull-ups or donated diapers? Oh. Right. SANITY. I'm sure the landlordswill understand. They have kids... Rent schment. Definitely going forthe pull ups.

Beeeeep (October 3, 2008)

2008-10-03T12:30:00.000-07:00

My father is a very paranoid man.He's a prison guard for the federal government, and has been for thepast 27 years. He's worked in maximum, medium and minimum institutions.He has seen the scum of the earth. He's had shit flung at him, has hadto intervene countless times from stopping one inmate from killinganother, had his life threatened one or 1200 times. At one point in hiscareer he was attacked by a full blown AIDS victim who was bleeding,and who was tryingto infect him as well. Luckily he wasn't infected, and that this was anisolated incident. Raising 2 daughters and working in that environmentwas not easy I'm sure. I can fully appreciate and respect his paranoia.I'll add here that I got all my stubbornness from my mother...becausedad still has his.

The extent of his paranoia is driving meCRAZY. About 70-80% of any phone conversation I have with him, thephone beeps. It's actually him unintentionally pushing a button on thekeypad. I can relay the conversation that follows. Every. Single.Bloody. Time.

*Beeep*

Dad - "What was that?"

Me - "That was you dad. You bumped the..."

Dad - "No. It was not me. I know where my fingers are. It was you." (If he *knows* it was me, then WHY did he ask me what it was?)

Me - "No dad. It was you. This only happens when I'm talking to you."

Dad - "This only happens when I'm talking to YOU. You need a new phone."

Me- "Sigh. Ok. Then buy me one. But what are you going to do when *it*beeps again? You gonna keep buying me new phones? Maybe it's yoursausage fingers combined with your 1990 cordless. Ya think?"

Dad - "What was that? Did you here that? I think I can hear people talking..."

Me - "Sigh.. Dad? Turn your TV down."

Dad - "Oh."

Dad - "Wait! Can you hear that?"

Me - "Hear what? You having a major brain fart?"

Dad - "I didn't raise you to be such an asshole ya know. I'm serious. What's that noise?"

Me - *straining to hear the little voices that may or may not be speaking to my semi delusional father* "No dad. I hear nothing."

Dad- "You know, I heard that So and So was released from prison not tolong ago. I'm pretty sure I'm on his hit list with a few others... Iwonder if that c*cksucker (dad's oh so very favourite choice ofnicknames)has tapped my phone. Jebuz H Christy. I'll empty a few roundsinto that effer if he comes here, I'll tell you that!"

Me- "Dad! OK! Calm down. Fine. It was me. I bumped the friggin number 9with my inherited sausage fingers. You're going to give yourself afreaking aneurysm or something."

Dad - "Nope.With today's technology it would be SO easy to tap into someones phoneline. I wouldn't be surprised if we're being listened to right now.That beeep was probably the tapper thing being turned on."

*beeeep*

Dad - "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?!"

Me- "Dad! Move your hand you old fart. If it's not your hand then it'syour chin or something. You know what? I'm gonna let you go. I have to,um, go do something. Ok?"

Dad - "Fine. But when I wake up dead cuz some c*cksucker knows I'm home because of this phone call, I'm gonna haunt you! Goodbye!"

Me - "..."

*beeeep*

Me - "Dad? DAD!"

Dad - "Yeah?"

Me - "You didn't hang up. You hit a number key again."

Dad - "Aww for eff's sake! Gad dang c*cksucking mofo! Jebuz H. Christy..."

*CLICK*

Not so posh (October 2, 2008)

2008-10-02T12:28:00.000-07:00

I'm addicted to blogs. More so to reading what other people blog about than actual blogging myself. I read A Womb at the Inn(sane)everyday. This woman is my age. As in, she too will be 30 in November.And she has 7 kids. Yes. 7. And she likes them. She is frickenhilarious. I don't even remember how I found her site. All I know is Ineed my daily dose of innsaneness. (seriously. go read her. If you'recrazy like me start with the archives and work your way up.) Eitheryesterday or the day before she had posted a contest where you click onthe link, and be the 214th person to comment and you win a prize. Anecklace. I clicked on the link, and found out I had to sign up to viewthis prize and post to comment on. I figured what the heck. So I did.Then I'm informed by the site I had to be accepted first. Hmm. Theregoes any chance of winning a necklace. (Not like I WEAR necklaces. Ijust wanted to have a shot at winning SOMETHING!!)

Either laterthat night or the next morning, I checked my email. I had beenaccepted. YAY! I go to the site to check it out. Uh.Oh. Clearly I am inthe WRONG area. Clearly they have not checked out MY site (this blogyou are staring at with glassy eyes) because if they had, they wouldnot have accepted me. Nor would 2 of them have added me as "friends".Why? Be patient. I'm getting there. This site is called... (don't laughand if you are taking a drink, put it down before you snort beverageout of your sinuses) ... "The Posh Parent" and the subtitle is "The chic parent guide to everyday fabulousness".

Posh. Brit.Elegant, high-class, as in a posh hotel. Its origins lie in theabbreviation for "port out, starboard home," indicating the best berthson sailings from England to India

Definition: luxurious, upper-class

ME??POSH?? BWAHAHAHAH cough cough cough. ahem. Now before you start rollingyour eyes, It's really not as "fru-fru" as one may think. I haven't hadvery much time to go through it to see what's going on over there, butlook forward to it. There's blogs, "societies", forums, chat, etc.

Alongwith the acceptance to me joining this poshness, I also has two friendrequests. One of them is the site administrator. (has to be, but sinceI'm new to all of this, who knows!) the other is Kadi (the blog ownerof a womb at the innsane). Now I know there is some kind of joke goingon. You see, a few days ago, Kadi had an "embrace your inner dorkness"contest. She invited all to send in stories of dorkness, photos and orvideos to prove dorkyness. The winner got a prize. so I submitted thesephotos to prove my dork worthiness:

Ididn't win. I didn't even get a vote. I should be happy, but not evenone lousy vote. I guess I'm so over the top, that Kadi actually leftout the photo with me wearing the glasses/nose getup. I can't believe Ieven sent these pics to a stranger!

These pics are proof thatI am the brunt of someones joke. Yes! Come join The Posh Parent! Iremember your face *snicker snicker* OR, Or maybe I'll be their littleproject. Maybe the person who can convert this:

into THIS:

will win a lollipop.

Anyhoo.I must toodle off for my pedicure and noon hour martini. Jeeves will bearound with the car in a flash, I mustn't keep him waiting. Pop popcheerio now!!

Wow. They are quick. And GOOD!

(*I'm actually looking forward to checking out this site and talking with other "posh parent's" so shuddap!!*)

Concocted byLana@The Kids Did WHAT?!at approximately 7:01 AM 1 reflections

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

The poop and potty post.

When Mackenzie was 17 months old, we were watching "John and Kate plus 8".The sextuplets were 2 in the episode we were watching. They were alsopotty training. Mackenzie watched with awe, as I was telling her whatthese little people her size were doing.Then I remembered that I stillhad Braden's little plastic potty. I ran to the bathroom, blew the dustof the potty, and brought it in the living room.I asked Mackenzie ifshe wanted to try. She beamed, and said YUP!! So off went the pants.Off went the diaper. She sat down, and peed! I could not believe it. Iwas in shock. I had a 17 month old ready for potty training! Or so Ithought. She didn't pee on that thing for another 4 months. I neverpressured her. I only ever asked if she wanted to sit on it. 9 timesout of 10 she wanted to sit. Nothing happened. Until she stood up, andpromptly pissed on the floor.

You know how "they" say thatpeeing is the first step, and pooping is usually harder for them? Well,not in Mackenzie's case. She has mastered pooping on the potty. She'llbe 3 in a month and a half, and has been pooping on the pot for thelast 8 months. If she pees on the potty, it's only cuz she's stillsitting down from the big #2.

The last month to month and ahalf, she has regressed. She poops in her pull-up. I can't figure outwhy. Her routine has been the same, she isn't constipated nor does shehave diarrhea. I don't know if it's her stubborn will, or if she's justtoo damn busy playing to go to the bathroom.

I told her lastnight if she poops on the potty at daycare, she can have a sticker whenshe gets home. Because it's all about stickers you know. Stickers aremore fun than playdough, have a healing power 10 times better/strongerthan any band aid brand, and they just make the world go around. Ah,yes. Mackenzie and her sticker love affair. Why I did not think of thissooner, I will never know. (Shut up. I don't WANT to think about whyI didn't think about it. Fine fine. It was a mommy brain fart. Happynow?) So we shall see today after daycare if she made it to the potty.Regardless if she made it or not, I'm going to come up with some kindof sticker potty chart for here and daycare. One sticker for poops onthe potty, 2 stickers for pee.

Now go through this post andcount how many times you see "potty" and "poop". If you countaccurately, I'll give you a jelly bean. I should probably warn you thatit's been in my pocket for 4 days, and has a nice collection of fuzzand lint. But it still smells good. Wait. Oh crap. I peeled the fuzzand lint off to see what colour it was, and I ate it. Sorry. No jellybean. How about you just give yourself a nice pat on the back, OK?

Yeah yeah. I've done it too. (September 30, 2008)

2008-09-30T12:26:00.000-07:00

Oh how words can bite us in theass. I have a few examples here courtesy of others. I know at somepoint, okay, okay A LOT of times, *I* have said something really dumb,but it's much more fun and interesting to point out someone else's goofups... not mine... Moving right along...

About2 years ago, I used to work with this girl, who we will call Ninny.Ninny was about 22 years old, and no kids. We were both on our lunchbreak, and somehow or another the topic of child rearing came up. Theonly thing I can recall in our discussion is her telling me how whenshe has kids, she will NEVER tell them "no". She will use otherterminology. Such as "Not a good idea" Or "Don't do that", "Danger".etc. You get the idea, right? She said "No is too negative". THEN shetells ME that *I* should stop saying "No" to my kids and that I wouldthank her later for it. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! ...ahem... cough. So, me,being the gracious woman I am, told her "One day you are going to havechildren. Out of the blue you are going to remember this conversationand you will feel like an asshole." and I promptly walked away. I *may*have taken what she said a little easier had she actually had children.

Someonewhom I love and respect DEARLY, asked me ages and ages ago (before theyhad children) why I hadn't made it to church the past couple Sundays. Itold them because my son had not been sleeping well, and wastransitioning from 2 naps a day to one. They told me "When I havechildren I will NEVER let their sleeping schedule interfere with goingto church", and something regarding priorities. At that moment and timeI wanted to SCREAM at them saying "ONE DAY!! ONE DAY YOU WILL REMEMBERTHIS AND FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT!!" But I didn't. I put on the mommy smileand let it all. sink. in. About 2 or 3 weeks ago I was talking to thisperson and lo and behold... It was Sunday. Wait.. "why didn't you go tochurch today?" I thought perhaps one of the little ones were sick. Theresponse? "Oh, The baby hasn't been sleeping well, and we havesomething planned for later, it would just be too much." As soon asthis was said, I went back to that phone conversation 5 years ago. Outof respect for them, I actually kept my mouth shut. But what I wantedto do was yell "NA NA NA BOO BOO!!! EAT YOUR WORDS!!! NOW YOUUNDERSTAND!!" I know that one day that will be remembered by them and Iknow they will feel really bad. And I forgive them.

I don'tremember who said this bit to me, as it was a while ago. I think shehad one child at the time, who was a young baby. What she said I caneasily understand and appreciate. I wanted to hug her out of pity. Shesaid something about "not letting my kid(s) EVER interfere with mybathroom time. I will NOT allow my child to come in to the bathroomwith me, nor bang on the door while I'm doing my business. I will teachthem, that for those few minutes, they are to not even call out to me."I wish I could remember who that was, as I would truly like to know howthat worked out for her. If it *actually* did, I. Must. Learn. Privacy.Peeing. Secret. If it backfired on her and she's a mom like me where anopen door policy keeps me more sane than a child(ren) is banging on thedoor... honey, I PROMISE you are not alone. But I like that you had adream.

In fairness, before I had kids, my sister already had 5.She's a yeller. I vowed that I would NEVER yell at my kids. Like shedoes. But I do. Oops. (Working on it!!)

Recess time (September 29, 2008)

2008-09-29T12:25:00.000-07:00

In January, Braden's schoolimplemented "M.B.I's" (minor behavior incidents) and "Gotcha's". If astudent does something naughty, dangerous or anything to break therules, they get an MBI. The teachers also hand out gotcha's foranything recognized as positive behavior. If a student did not receiveany MBI's, in a calender month, they were allowed to go outside for anextra half hour reccess at the end of the month. Braden received a lotof gotcha's. Unfortunately, he also got MBI's. So he had to sit in theclassroom with the other "bad kids" while the majority of the classwent outside to play. (Note that the other "bad" kids didn't havenearly as many gotcha's as Braden) He could go all week without gettingan MBI, then on Friday's, he would get one. He had 2 grade oneteachers. Mrs. "MBI" taught on Friday's. huh. And I thought his Mondayto Thursday teacher was a cow. (I'll post about this at some point.)

Anyhoo...

Braden'sgrade 2 teacher is a saint. She must have been cut from the same clothas his kindergarten teacher. Mrs M (his current gr 2 teacher) told metoday about the extra recess today. My heart sunk, as yet again Bradenmissed out. Wait.. What? What did she say? She said she knew kids wereexcited about the recess but she couldn't figure out why Braden wasjumping out of his skin... Because he got to go!! Braden went theentire month of September without an MBI. I am SO very proud of him.Tiny little tears welled up in my eyes. Then I got angry. I realised,even though I knew last year, it never really sunk in that Braden wasNOT a trouble maker. He did not "conform" like the other little kids.He used the term "potty" instead of washroom. (again, I will SO postabout this soon!) He spoke out instead of raising his hand. He talkedtoo loudly. He ALWAYS talks too loudly. What Braden did was never"bad". More annoying than anything.

Who would have thoughtthat a parent could be so proud of their child for getting an extrarecess. Not only am I proud of Braden, but also proud of his teacherfor her ability to want to see each child as an individual.She embraces each student's uniqueness and uses that to her advantagefor teaching techniques, as she knows that children all work and learnin their own way. This is going to be such a great year for Braden. Iam so excited for him and look forward to working with Mrs. M, as apposed to protecting my child from a "teacher" who triedto turn my son into a blurry eyed little robot that would just make HERday easier. So long Mrs. U and Mrs. MBI. Welcome Mrs. M!!!

The third time's the charm...I hope!! (September 29, 2008)

2008-09-29T12:23:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer - The author of this blog is in no way responsible forcontinuous eye rolling, gag fests or any other symptoms that may arisefrom a mushy post

Aaron and I met in January of 2004. Webecame "official" about a month later. We were together for 6 months,broke up for one month, then back together again for another 6 months.4 days after we broke up the second time, I found out I was pregnant.Niiiice. He had already made plans to move back to Ontario. I told himto go, but come back before baby was born. To make a long story short,he didn't move back until Mackenzie was almost 2. (We stayed in touchduring this time, plus I went out there twice and he came out heretwice in the 22 months of her life.) It may not have been the "right"decision, but I supported it. He moved back to B.C. just over a yearago. I wondered how things would be, what he would expect, and if hehad done any growing up.

I discovered that not only had he grown up, but so had I. He loves his daughter fiercely, and parents withme. He supports my decisions, as well as I do his. We are on the samewave length. It's amazing. Not only does he love Mackenzie with all hisheart, but Braden too. Before we got back together in July, (hey, thirdtime's the charm, right?!)he not only took Mackenzie on the weekends,but Braden as well. His theory was/is "why not?" He wants Braden tocall him dad. Sometimes Braden does, sometimes he doesn't. And Aarondoesn't care.

The bond that Aaron and I have is...indescribable. I don't know how much of it is because we do have apast, or because we have a child together, or because we have bothgrown up. And I don't care. I have never felt this secure or happy in arelationship. I am definitely twitterpated.

There are two things that worry me however:

1 - The man has an addiction to chocolate more so than a room full of 50 hormonal PMSing broads. (How is he not fat???)

2 - The only country music he likes/tolerates is The Dixie Chicks, and the song, "Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy", by Big and Rich.

Clearly, I'll have to have many more ~~secret hypnotic sessions~~ discussions with him regarding these points before we can move on.

Mackenzie says this about her daddy, "I wike him wots and wots." Me too baby girl, me too.

Yes, another one. These things are addicting (September 28, 2008)

2008-09-28T12:21:00.000-07:00

What was I doing 10 years ago

I was living with3 roommates. Jen & Trever (married) and Wayne. Jen and Trever alsohad a little girl who was 2 at the time. She was potty training. So Jenlet her run around naked as a jay bird. That was all fine and dandyuntil she would climb on to the couch and shove her naked little ass inmy face. I vowed I would never ever let that happen if I ever hadkids... yeah... sure. I worked at Burger King and was infatuated with aguy named asswipe. I think that was his name..

What are 5 things to do on my list today

dishes
go to work
blog
pick Aaron up and bring his non driving ass HERE to MY house for a change! WooHoo!!

Snacks I enjoy

Um.... Let's just say this list would be much MUCH smaller if I said what snacks I DIDN'T enjoy...

Things I would do if i was a billionaire

Don'tget me daydreaming. It's too hard to snap out of. If you DO snap me outof daydreaming, I may eat your face until I can get back to my happyplace... Now where was I ... Oh yeah. I'm a billionaire....

Three of my bad habits

smoking
cursing
nail biting

Five places I have lived

Mission, BC
Aggazzi, BC
Abbotsford, BC
Taber, Alberta
Brandon, Manitoba

Five jobs I've had

Cook at Humpty's
Waitress at a little family diner that closed at 4pm
Waitress at a 4 star restaurant
Bartender
HP printer tech assist
(thought I'd list some jobs I didn't list in my previous "meme" post)

How did you name your blog

WhenI just had Braden, I would spend a lot of time scrapbooking, and makingmy own cards. On the back of the cards, I would sign it "Braden andCompany" and draw a little copyright symbol. (to be cute) Well,Mackenzie came along and signing "Braden, Mackenzie and company" justgot too much. So I took the first 3 letters of My son's name, first 4letters of My daughters name, and voila!! "BraMack & Company"(myself being the "company")

Have your cake and eat it too!!! (September 27, 2008)

2008-09-27T12:19:00.000-07:00

I have about 10 boxes of cake mixsitting in my cupboard. I buy them here and there, but never use them.I don't really have a sweet tooth (I crave the salty snacks) but keepthem on hand "just in case".

Acouple weeks ago, my cousin was telling me instead of using the eggs,oil and milk/water, you use.. Da da DA....Diet coke. D.I.E.T. C.O.K.E.Put your eyebrows down. I did that too. She had heard about it atweight watchers but hadn't yet tried it. I forgot about till lastnight. I decided to get a second opinion. Google. I googled "diet cokecake" and up came a gazillion and two links for it. "okay", I thoughtto myself. "this can't be that bad." At worst case scenario one box ofcake mix, one, yes ONE, CAN of diet coke would go to waste. So i hauledout my chocolate cake mix, my ONE can of diet coke (it STILL seemsweird) mixed it together, baked for the required amount of time,and...?? VOILA!! CAKE!! That tastes like cake! Fluffy little morsels of(mostly) guilt free cake!!! I couldn't believe it! I put the regularstore bought icing on it, but I read using cool whip is a great ~~guilt~~ calorie reducer too!

Nexttime I'm using chocolate mix with diet orange pop ("soda" for youAmericans) Mmm... Chocolate orange cake! Doesn't that sound good??THEN, I'll do vanilla cake mix with a diet sprite. Or chocolate withdiet cherry coke. There are so many options!!

I can honestlysay, I have never been so excited about cake!! Oh yeah. One morething... Without the eggs, oil and water? There is less cleaning up todo after! Oh yeah baby!

Son? Where did it go? (September 26, 2008)

2008-09-26T12:18:00.000-07:00

A scene from the other night at the household of BraMack & Company:

Thekids had just gotten out of the bath, snuggled up on the couch wrappedin warm towels and "the" fuzzy blanket for added warmth. They werewatching The Bugs Bunny and Tweety Show like they do every night beforebed. I was plunking away at the computer when I hear my son laughinghysterically. I gave him a funny look and asked what was up. Hecontrolled his laughter long enough to inform me he had a vagina. Um?Pardon me? I glanced and there was his little winky. "Braden, you're anut case. You do NOT have a vagina."

Braden started killinghimself laughing again, and said "MOMMY!! WATCH THIS!!" My precious,handsome and oh-such-a-boy son proceeded to tuck his penis between hislegs and..... well, he had a vagina. All I could do was shake my headand ask "Who on earth taught you that?" I expected him to say his dad,or his 10 yr old cousin, but no. He proudly exclaimed "I LEARNED THATALL ON MY OWN!!!"

Oh the things we are proud of when we are 7.

Mind your peas and carrots! (September 25, 2008)

2008-09-25T12:16:00.000-07:00

The kids and I head over to Aaron's every Friday, and stay tillSunday night. We eat 7 meals there in a weekend. (dinner Friday, andall 3 meals each day sat and sun) This man does not know what a fruitor vegetable looks like. Other than Bananas. He should have been born amonkey. If I want the kids to eat half assed decently, I either have tobring the meal ingredients, or go shopping with him and twist thatfreaking arm of his to purchase something, just SOMETHING somewhathealthy for at least 2 or 3 of those meals. He really has no clue as towhat the big stink is about feeding the kids a piece of fruit orveggie. It drives me nuts and is a battle every time. *insert booming,echoing, sounding voice* EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Now, I am by far,NOT a health nut. I even have the extra poundage to prove it. I havegone a couple days without my kids seeing anything even remotelyhealthy. But I do make up for it. I have heard that it's mostly whatyou eat overall in a week, not a day. (Especially for children) So whenwe do eat crappy for a couple days, I usually compensate with goodhealthy food for the next 2-3 days. I digress...
Moving along. Below is a list of fruits and veggies. Beside them, is Aaron's definitions. He seriously uses these as his argument.

Creamed corn - soggy Corn Pops
Corn - popcorn (or as my son used to call it, "cockporn" mmm, salty, buttery "cockporn". Yeah...lose that one FAST kiddo)
Carrots - carrot cake
Squash - mashed potatoes...like, really mashed
Broccoli - broccoli...covered in creamy cheese sauce
Lettuce - pretty garnish
Tomatoes - ketchup
Cucumber - pickles
Potatoes - french fries
Grapes - raisins for kids, wine for the adults
Bananas- Bananas! ohmygoshilovebananas. BANANAS!! I GO APE SHIT FOR BANANAS!!and ANYTHING that might taste close to a BANANA!! banana cream pie,banana slurpees, banana yogurt, banana pudding! BANANANANANANANAS!!!!!!
Strawberries - strawberry jam
Blueberries - blueberry pie
Apples - apple turnover
Watermelon - flavoured freezies
Oranges - the devil's spawn
Pineapples/Pears/Peaches/Cherries - fruit cocktail. (As in, sugar laden canned fruit. Factory canned. Probably with a shit load of BPA leaching into it.)

Hehas always loved my spaghetti. YEAH? WELL?? I grate carrots into thesauce! And you know those chocolate chip muffins you love so much? Iput zucchini chunks in them. I could make a list here. But I won't.Just in case one day you stumble across my blog. And if you DO comeacross this blog... You aren't the Aaron I'm talking about, and none ofthis is true ... still wuv me ...? hunny?... heh heh ha..cough cough...

Why is that?? (September 24, 2008)

2008-09-24T12:13:00.000-07:00

I have never been good with words. My boyfriend and I were discussingthat a few days ago. I'm the type, that in midst of a fight, will getall flustered and either say something that makes NO sense, or I'll saynothing at all. Any where from 1 hour to 3 days later, the bestcomeback pops into my head. Why is that?? I watch in awe as I witness"real" arguing. People tossing attitude that makes sense back andforth. No fair! Their minds working full tilt and alert, where as Iseem to be on a 10 second delay... or a 3 day delay in some cases.

~~~~
Ineed to start carrying around a notepad and pen. At the oddest times, Iget an idea for blogging in my head, and think "Oooh! That'll be a goodone!" Ten seconds later I forget it. Even worse, I'll recall the topic,but not the content. Very frustrating. Why is that??

~~~~
Alot of people tell me I'm hilarious. I can crack a joke about almostanything, and make people laugh. So when I pen it to paper (or keyboardit to computer :P) I am a giant flop. Why is that??

~~~~
I have discovered, ~~because I am such a freaking SLOB~~by TOTAL accident, that fruit flies are attracted to rotting milk. Ew.Let's say, for example, "someone"left a glass half full of milk on thecounter for 3 days. Can we say infestation? What the heck? I am nowgoing to refer to fruit flies as "rotting dairy flies". Why is that??

~~~~
Mykids drive me NUTS. They yell, scream, defy me to no end, nag until Iwant to rip my hair out, steal cookies, (really... Mackenzie JUST stoleone as I was typing this.) cough in my face, and back talk me. But Ilove them more than words could ever describe, and and unless it's mewanting to kill them, I would die for my kids. Why is that??

~~~~
Thereare MANY different places I want to go to. But only certain peoplewould make those places special. I mean extra special. Shannon, my bestfriend aka- sugartits, (Hi Shannon!!!) would be my first pick to takewith me to Australia. Nothing would be more fun than exploring caves,harassing kangaroos, and yelling "Let's throw some more shrimps on thebarbie mate!!" But only with sugartits. I mean Shannon. If and when Ihead to the Yukon, yes, I said YUKON, I only want to do that withAaron. It wouldn't be the same with anyone else. Why is that??

~~~~
Ihave one faithful reader. (that I know of anyways). That would be theabove mentioned sugartits. And she doesn't even blog. Now, I know thatI'm new to this whole blogging thing, but if anyone I would want toencourage to get blogging, it would be YOU, SHANNON. But she hasn't.Yet. Why is that??

What exactly is a "meme" anyways? (September 22, 2008)

2008-09-22T12:12:00.000-07:00

There a about 10 blogs that I tryto take a peak at everyday. Some of them do something called meme's? Idon't get the whole "tagging" thing, but some of them look like fun, orjust interesting. I don't think I'll ever tag anyone (even if I everactually understand what that means!!), but I'll still fill some outfor the fun of it.

Here's one:

4 Places I’ve lived:
1-Mission, BC. - Born and raised. Moved to "find myself" I guess. Whatever. I moved because I COULD! a.k.a - 20, single, no kids!

2-Taber, Alberta - or, as my mother referred to it, "a piss hole in thesnow". It was/is a VERY tiny town. Lasted there about 7 months.

3-Brandon, Manitoba. - Lived there for about 2 years. My fiance and Ibroke up and having a newborn baby and not having my "own" friends, hadto move to ..... (see # 4)

4- Abbotsford, BC. - Where I still am, 7 years later. :)

4 Jobs I’ve had:
1-Cashier/drive-thru attendant at Burger King. Why I lasted 2 whole yearsthere, I will never know. Surprisingly enough, after seeing whathappens there, I still eat there on occasion! (Don't ask for details,unless you REALLY want to know!)

2- Waitress. I actually enjoybeing a waitress. I'm not too much of a people person when it comes todealing with the public, but for some reason, I really likewaitressing. If only I could find a restaurant with medical/dentalplans and an old age pension, I'd be good to go! Really!

3- Telemarketer. Don't shoot me. Please. I'd cringe when people asked me what I did for a living when I had that job.

4-Worked at a strip club. Really! No, I was NOT a stripper!! I worked theVLT machines and gave customers their cash when they cashed out theirtickets. Unfortunately, My seat was RIGHT in the view line of thestage. I only stayed for about 3 months. Could only handle so manydrunk men (some women too!) asking when I was going up next! (I wasMUCH thinner then!) Uhg.

4 places I’ve holidayed:
1- Hawaii. I was 16 and with my parents. Someday I hope to go back all growed up!!

2-Valemount, BC. Every year for the past 7 years for our annual "CanadaDay Family Games" Valemount is SUCH a beautiful place to see. (Not tomention the surrounding areas!!)

3- Arizona/New Mexico/Colorado. All done on the same trip, so I count them as one place!

4- Banff/Jasper Alberta.

4 Favorite foods:
1- Tim Horton's Coffee. Extra Large English toffee please!

2- Perogies and farmer sausage with "schmontfat" Must be the Mennonite in me!!

3- Mexican! What else can I say??

4- A good home cooked meal (not cooked by me) involving meat and potatoes (preferably mashed, with HOMEMADE gravy!)

4 Places I’d rather be:
1- Sleeping

2- At Braden's school as a fly on the wall!

3- Vacationing in Australia...or Ireland.

4- In Shannon's living room, talking about the kids and what crazy antics they have recently come up with.

4 Bloggers I like to pass this meme onto:
1- Well, like I said above, I don't "get" this whole meme thing. So if you're reading this and want to do it...Do it!! :)

I'd like to keep my uterus, thank you very much (September 21, 2008)

2008-09-21T12:10:00.000-07:00

Had my ultra sound Thursday. I knew when I was preggers with Kenziethat I had a fibroid. "A" fibroid. I found out that I actually have 3.THREE that were recorded 3 YEARS ago. What the heck? Why did I not knowabout this? My doctor obviously was not concerned about the 2 "little"ones. I found out from the ultra sound technician that the big fibroidwas 7cm (3 inches) 3 years ago. But for legal reasons, she couldn'ttell me anything regarding this visit. (A radiologist has to lookfirst, and either tell me themselves, or have my doctor tell me). Iknow it's gotten bigger. But how much bigger? The only thing she couldtell me is that it (the big one) is growing from the right side, and isfilling my uterus. Plus 2 more. I asked how big THOSE ones were, andall she was allowed to say is they are "relatively the same size aslast time". Well. That doesn't help much, now does it? Considering Ididn't know about the other 2!!

Needlessto say, I'm booking a Dr appointment for early this week to get someanswers. I want these fibroids OUT. I am praying and praying and a tadmore praying that I don't have to have a hysterectomy. I also don'twant to just leave the fibroids, because *what if* I want to have morekids? Realistically, I'm 99.999% sure that I WON'T have any more...but*I* want to have that option. I'm 29. I think it's fair to want to keepmy womb. Things would be very different if I was pushing 40... not 30.

Iwonder now if Mackenzie was born 4 weeks early due to the fibroids"kicking" her out. According to my Dr, AND the ultra sound tech, thesize of my large fibroid (at the time Kenzie was born) is the same sizeas a 15 week fetus. So in reality, at the end of my pregnancy, I hadthe equivalent of a 51 week baby in me. HOLY CRAP! SOOO many thingscould have gone wrong! I'm very lucky.

I would like to point outfor the things I am grateful for though. I am grateful that I don'thave uterine cancer. I am grateful that I have the option to go to a Drand find all of this out. I am grateful that my lumpy bumpy womb haspopped out two healthy rambunctious children with zero complications.

But I still hope things go my way.

Just for fun (September 20, 2008)

2008-09-20T12:08:00.000-07:00

Here’s what you do: Type the answer to each question into a googleimage search, and then pick an image from the first page of results.

1. Age At Next Birthday: 30. NOOooo!!! 2. Place I’d Like To Travel: Australia

3. Favorite Place:This was a tough one. So I googled "Family". Seriously, if my man andkids are with me, It would be my favourite place. Cheezy, I know.

4. Favorite Object: My Ipod nano.

5. Favorite Food: Mexican. The only thing missing from this pic is the load of sour cream, and a giant margarita!! Doesn't that look AWESOME??

6. Favorite Animal(s): I love ALL sea mammals.

7. Favorite Color: Blue

8. My Nickname: Meathead. My dad has always called me that, and still does. It really is a term of affection!

9. Town I Was Born In: Mission

10. Bad Habit I Have: Procrastination

Concocted byLana@The Kids Did WHAT?!at approximately 7:28 AM 0reflections

Jello baby (September 19, 2008)

2008-09-19T12:07:00.000-07:00

I'm going insane. I kid you not. It's not what you would think that isputting me over the edge. It's not finances. It's not Braden's lack ofcommon sense (well, he IS only 7, but still..), it's not even cartroubles, the economy or what to make for dinner.

It's my jello baby. Mackenzie has perfected, perfected, theamazing ability to make her armpits disappear when trying to pick herup. Especially when I need to give her crap for something.

Me - Mackenzie, come here.
Her - No.
Me - *neck twitch and eyebrow lift* Come HERE. Please.
Her - Nuh uh.
Me- *walk over to child, pick up...pick... PICK UP... what the??... Myhands grab where her armpits USED to be, but amazingly enough my handscontinue to slide upwards, all the way up her outstretched arms, as shecrumples to the floor...laughing. At me. Where the hell did her armpits go???
Her - *lays on floor laughing, saying "I funny mommy. Right?"
Me - ?!?! ~~cries~~ laughs softly

She'llpull this little act while I'm carrying her somewhere. She's happy. I'mhappy. We're chatting, and all of a sudden WHAMO! she slithers to theground. (Now, keep in mind I'm not carrying her by her armpits.) Out ofthe blue she decides she's going to let go, miraculously heave all herweight (35 pounds) to her lower limbs and hang there. All the while I'mdesperately trying to hang on so she doesn't plummet to the ground andsmash her head. ~~Because I don't have time to go to the hospital right now~~ Because I wouldn't want her to get hurt.

Theother day, picking Braden up from school, Kenzie asks me to carry her.No way. I tell her I'll hold her hand instead. We walk back to the carand as I'm dodging 250 some odd 5-12 year olds, I realize my right armis dragging further and further away from me. ??? Braden, who isstanding on my left gets yelled at for this, as I'm still notrecognizing what's going on. "Braden! Go. To. The. Car!! Now please!"he looks at me bewildered like and says "Uh.. I am..." I turn to lookat Kenzie, to ask her to hurry up a little bi... Huh? She's hangingfrom my hand. Her legs have turned to jello, she is swinging wildly ata crazy angle with a huge goofy grin on her face. "UHG! Mackenzie!Stand up. NOW!" She doesn't, so I go to pick her up. Armpit's disappearand she laughs manically at me.

Where's my padded room?

THIS IS MY INSIDE VOICE (September 18, 2008)

2008-09-18T12:04:00.000-07:00

I'M BRADEN. I'M 7.

I HAD THE COOLEST PARTY EVER. I HAD MY FRIENDS THERE AND WE HAD CAKE AND I GOT TONNES OF PRESENTS.

I WISH I HAD A NICKNAME. BUT I DON'T. I WANT TO BE CALLED "BRAD" BUT MOM SAYS NO WAY. NO FAIR MAN.

I LIKE TO SHOW OFF. MOM SAYS I OVER DO IT, BUT I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO SEE ME IN ACTION ALL THE TIME.

SOMETIMESIT'S HARD BEING ME. MOMMY SAYS I TALK LOUD ALL THE TIME AND IS ALWAYSSAYING "USE YOUR INSIDE VOICE!!" I *AM*!!! SIGH. SHE ALSO SAYS I TALKREALLY FAST. BUT SHE DOES TOO, SO THERE!!

GRADE ONE WAS WAS KINDA HARD. I DON'T KNOW WHY THOUGH. IT WAS KINDA TENSE. BUT I LOVED KINDERGARTEN AND I REALLY LOVE GRADE 2.

SOMETIMESI GET SOOOO EXCITED ABOUT ONE THING, AND JUST WHEN I'M GETTING REALLYINTO IT, SOMEONE, EITHER A TEACHER OR MOMMY OR WHOEVER, MAKES ME STOPAND DO SOMETHING ELSE.

I JUST LEARNEDHOW TO RIDE A 2 WHEELER. AT THE BEGINNING OF JULY. NOW I'M A RIDINGFOOL. I LOVE BEING ON MY BIKE IT'S THE COOLEST THING EVER!

THISSUMMER MOMMY AND DAD (SOMETIMES I CALL HIM AARON, OTHER TIMES I CALLHIM DAD) TOOK MY SISTER AND I HIKING. LOTS AND LOTS OF HIKING ONMOUNTAINS. I LOVED IT SOO MUCH. DAD SAYS FOR NEXT SUMMER HE'S GOING TOBUY A WHOLE BUNCH OF HIKING EQUIPMENT SO WE CAN BE "REAL HIKERS". ICAN'T WAIT!!

MY SISTER CAN BE SUCH APAIN. SHE YELLS AT ME WHEN I'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG. SHE'S ONLY 2THOUGH. I SHARE WITH HER SO MUCH. IT MAKES MOMMY'S HEART HAPPY WHENKENZIE AND I DO NICE THINGS FOR EACH OTHER WHEN SHE HASN'T ASKED USTOO. I KNOW THIS CUZ SHE TOLD ME. I LIKE MAKING MOMMY'S HEART HAPPY.

SOMETIMESI DO SILLY THINGS THAT I KNOW I'LL GET IN TROUBLE FOR. I DON'T KNOW WHYI DO IT. I FEEL BAD AFTER CUZ IT MAKES MOMMY REALLY UPSET WHEN I DONTLISTEN TO HER THE FIRST TIME.

THEN MOMMYSAYS EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES, AND I WONDER IF ITS OKAY TO DO THOSESILLY THINGS ANYWAYS? BEING SEVEN IS REALLY HARD SOMETIMES!

AH,MAN!! I GOTTA GO. KENZIE IS RIPPING MY SCHOOL DAY PLANNER AND THROWINGMY LEGO'S IN THE TOILET! MACKENZIE!! STOOOPPPPPP!!!!!!

Wild Card Wednesday - 5 points of randomness (September 17, 2008 )

2008-09-17T12:03:00.000-07:00

1 - My son's grade 2 teacher is AWESOME. Love her, lover her LOVE HER.She's taking things slowly and WANTS to get to know the students beforehitting the curriculum. that's cool in my books. I'm guessing this wayshe'll also get a feel for how each kid learns. She keeps sending noteshome saying "I just love having Braden in my class. He's so adorable!"I hope she still thinks that way at the end of June!!

2- My best friend just lived out a hurricane. Hurricane Ike made it'spresence known and she stayed. Granted, they live right by Houston,where they weren't told they had to leave or anything, but still! Theyhave a bit of water damage in their oldest son's room, but nothing tooserious. They COULD have been without power for a few weeks, but luckedout and were only powerless for 3 days. Whatever. I'da hightailed myass out of there!!

3 - I have discovered that I do not liketeenagers. Mostly teenage girls. And by teenagers, I mean from the ageof 12 to 23. They...OK A LOT of them... are catty, snotty and justplain rude. I probably don't like them because I was just like thatwhen I was that age. I discovered this working the weekend shift. Goodgrief! Please please PLEASE get me on the Monday-Friday shift SOON!!

4- I have massive fibroids growing in my uterus. I go in for an ultrasound tomorrow to see how big exactly and where exactly they are. Whenlaying down, I can feel my uterus AND fibroid(s). my Dr. said it feelslike I'm about 15 weeks pregnant. WHICH I AM NOT. I want it/themremoved. My Dr said if they are inside the uterus it could be removed,but if it's inside the muscle, I won't be able to, and suggested ahysterectomy. NO THANKS. He said IF I was to want another child, thatgetting pregnant with the fibroid(s) that size, could literally killthe baby by not leaving any room for it. I have NO plans on havinganother child ANY time soon, but still. Lets hope for the best. Letshope I can just have the fibroid(s) taken out with uterus intact.

5- Even with life's daily and not so daily stresses, I am pretty danghappy these days. Life definatly isn't a bowl of cherries, but in thewords of "John and Kate plus 8" "It might be a crazy life, but it's mylife." Even on my wort of the worst day/week/month (you get the idea) Iwouldn't trade it with anyone. I STRONGLY believe, that if everyonetook their issues and problems and could throw them into a giant heap,and then were told to go to that heap and pick the same number ofproblems we threw in, 99% of us would take a look at the mess, and sortthrough to pick back up the very problems we threw away. After seeingwhat we COULD have been dealing with, our problems probably wouldn'tseem all that bad. Now try telling me this when I'm really stressed outand I'll probably have to smack you. Call me Pollyanna, but thereREALLY is a bright side to EVERYTHING. Even if we can't see that rightaway.

Shhh...don't tell mommy, k? (September 16, 2008)

2008-09-16T12:01:00.000-07:00

Hi. I'm Mackenzie. I'll be 3 in November. I'm a princess. ACTUALLY, it's "Da da da DA, PRINCESS KENZIA!!" Sometimes I'm referred to as princess Fiona. Mommy says when I'm a grump I'm still a princess, but an ogre. Like Fiona from Shrek. Whatever. She's still nice.

Iknow pretty much everything. Braden my brother, likes to bug me. But Ihave discovered that before he gets the chance, I can get him introuble. If he's in the other room, and I think he might be heading myway, all I have to do is yell "NOooooo Braden! NOOOOOOOOOooooooooo!!!" and Mommy will make sure he doesn't continue to bother me. But she's quick. It only took her a couple weeks to realize what I was up to. He doesn't get in trouble any more. Now I do. How fair is THAT?!?!

My favorite favorite thing to do to drive both Mommy AND Braden crazy, is to wait untilBraden starts talking, then yell and scream at him that *I* was talkingto my mommy FIRST. even when I wasn't. They both get SO riled up.

Mommy thought she had the whole potty training thing licked with me. Apparentlypooping on the potty is suppose to be the final step. Well, I thoughtI'd teach her a thing or two. i HATE having poop in my pull-up. Sopoops on the pot have never been an issue. She seems to think I shouldbe peeing there too. Personally, I don't really care. I have betterthings to do. Pee in the pants is nothing. It's warm, not smelly(compared to poop) and doesn't make my butt all lumpy when I sit. Mommyhasn't figured out that I'll do it when I'm ready. I think 15 soundslike a good age. I like to keep her on her toes.

I love ournight time routine. We eat supper then have a bath. We're usually outof the bath at 7:30pm when the bugs bunny show comes on. My brother andI get to sit on the couch wrapped up in warm towels (mommy has themwarmed up from the dryer for us) and we sit and watch that cwazy wabbit and friends. Then at 8:30 we are both ready for bed!!

Everynight before she goes to bed, Mommy comes into our room and kisses usagain and tells us she loves us. She doesn't know it, but I always knowwhen she comes in. I pretend to be fast asleep, but really I'm wideawake contemplating the theory of relativity, and whether or not I'm going to share my carrot sticks with the other kids at daycare the next day.

Ishould get going now. Braden said he wants to have a turn. I think I'llmess around on the computer a bit more, investing in stocks orsomething. I'll waste just a tad more time on here so he HAS to waittill tomorrow to make a post. I LOVE being a little sister. Such POWER!!

Where has the time gone? (September 9, 2008)

2008-09-11T00:59:00.000-07:00

It's been a while. I new I wasn't going to blog everyday, but I didintend on blogging a bit more than what I have been. Life has been SOBUSY!!

Aaron and I are officially together, as of the beginning of July. WOOHOO!!It seems longer because of our "history" but a good longer. I haveNEVER felt this secure and happy in a relationship. Even when we weretogether before I didn't feel this way. He's freakin AWESOME. Of course he IS still a man, but I can forgive that. ...

Mackenzie is such a diva with bad-itude! When she doesn't get her way she either tells me "I don't WIKE you!!" or she'll growl. Yes. The little turd will growl at me.
Bradenis in grade 2 with an AWESOME teacher. The first time I saw her I KNEWwe were gonna have a great year this year...although, he could have hadBigfootas a teacher and it probably would have been better than last year.Seriously though, this teacher actually wants to get to know the kidsand have them know and trust her before she pulls out the work load. Niiice!!

Theboys have settled quite nicely back in with their mom. I have ONE thingto say about it... just one.... WHY IS SHE NOT ENFORCING THEIR TABLEMANNERS??? I only expect near perfection in children at the table. Ok.seriously. I NEVER said a word to Alex, who's 4 (was 3 when he came tome) regarding his manners, other than not talking with his mouth full.But the other guys who were 5 and 7, they KNOW how to eat with elbowsOFF the table, mouths CLOSED while chewing, hold the utensils PROPERLYand SITTING ON THEIR HINEY. sigh. ALL of that GONE. She doesn't care. and it drives me BANANAS!!

Youknow what else drives me crazy? People who are against breast feeding.duh. Obviously MOST mothers feel that way, right? I didn't breast feed.I may or may not post another time as to why I didn't, but not today.But you know what drives me even MORE crazy??? Is people who gush onand on and on and on and on and on and on (getting the point???) abouthow wonderful it is to do so. and what a beautifulthing it is. Why is it more beautiful than a bottle fed baby andmother? It is a mother feeding a child. I do not feel that I did notbond with my children any less feeding them a bottle of formula. I heldmy children close to me while they ate, burped them, looked in theirgorgeous little eyes as their tummys were getting full. I support breast feeding. I also support bottle feeding. Hell. I support GOOD MOMS!! YAY MOMMYS!!

Ihave to work on the weekends for the next couple weeks. BLAH. I haven'tworked on a Saturday or Sunday since... um.... Well, I believeI worked a couple Saturdays when Braden was 3. Before that was in 2000.wow. Oh well. The kids need some time with their dad without me aroundright? And it won't last long so I think I can handle it. It justREALLY sucks that my first Saturday shift is a TEN HOUR shift!! EGAD!!!

Does this cover it? (July 17 2008)

2008-07-17T00:56:00.000-07:00

We all judge others. Some moreblatantly than others, but we all do it. It's human nature. I canhandle it, because I do it. For example, if I see a person with a greenmohawk,tattered clothes and multiple facial piercings. Or a homeless person.Or an extremely fat person. I mean really fat. We ALL do it. What I canNOT handle is those who judge me without knowing me, to my face, orworse, not to my face, but loud enough for me to hear. Grow some ballsif you think I'm worthy to hear your guffaws.

To the pristine, polished woman at wal-mart.
Yes.I heard you snickering about my stained shirt, greasy stringy hair, andmessy faced kids. Guess what? I had 2 hours of broken sleep, interrupted by stomach cramps and raging diarrhea. I probably smelled like death too. Do you think I wanted togo out? Hell no. Sorry to disgust you in such an unruly fashion. Butthat messy faced 2 and a half year old isn't potty trained, and wekinda sorta needed some pull ups. Or would you rather me sit at homeand clean her crap off the floor? Yes, I realise, that your childrenwere probably potty trained 100% by the 18 month mark. How very nobleof you. I hope your nanny didn't get fired for not having it done by 16months.
I also heard you tell your "friend", "Gasp! She's not even married!" Hmmm.Is this your presumption because I have no wedding ring? Wow. Nothinggets past you, does it. I guess I'm a big ole statistic. I had the urgeto lean over my cart and whisper "Yeah! They's not even from da same Daddy! Hiyuck Hiyuck."But I decided against it. The way you were holding your chest, I didn'twant to be responsible for your impending heart attack.

To the old geezer in the walmart parking lot.
How very kind of you to be so concerned for the health and safetyof my children, as I had them buckled in their seats in the car, whilethey waited for me to finish my cigarette...standing in the parking lotnext to the car. No, sir. I didn't realize I was setting a bad examplefor my kids. What's that? Smoking is bad for me? Holy hell in a handbag, I'll quit right this minute! What's that you say? I should standwhere they can't see me? Why? So someone like you can call the policeand say some crazy, dirty smoking woman has abandoned her kids whileshe shopped? Eff off, eh. When the time comes for me to be a gianthypocrite and tell my kids why they shouldn't smoke, I'll deal withthat. Or, if you feel better, give me your number and I'll have themcall you, OK?

To the little 15 yr old at the gas station.
Why yes! I AM wearing a green tank top, blue jeans and sneakers. Thank you for noticing! Do you like? Oh. you don't? My sincerest apologise. perhapsI should be wearing FUR TRIMMED BOOTS in 31 degree weather like you.Nothing goes better with fur trimmed boots in the dead of summer thanyour pink PLASTIC mini skirt, yellow tank top layered with your whitetank top which is layered with your blue tank top. But what's with theFUR TRIMMED COAT that only comes below your boobs? (assuming you haveany.) Did you borrow that from your little sister? niiice.Honey, I may have been wearing "obvious mom clothes" like you said witha sneer, but I would NEVER try to look like rainbow bright on acid.Rainbow bright is SO 80's.

To the punk ass kids driving past my house yelling "fat B*tch" to me while unloading groceries.
AllI can say to you is I hope and pray I meet up with you in 10 to 15years. Why? Because chances are you, your girlfriend, wife, or sisterwill packing on some extra weight (I SO hope it's you or your wife) andyou have the same thing yelled at you. Then you'll have a flash back toyesterday and feel oh so stupid.

Let's see if I can help you judge me.

- I occasionally spank my children. If it ever becomes outlawed where I live, I'll STILL occasionally spank my children if the "crime" is severe enough.
- I believe in God. I believe that Jesus died on the cross for me. I do not, however, go to church. I MUST be a heathen.
- I have gone 3 or 4 days without serving a single vegetable to my kids.
- Sometimes I speed. Instead of going 50km/h I go 55km or even 60km!!
- Quite often I let the nail polish on my toes get all chipped and wear open toed sandals anyways!

Ithink that should do for now. I wouldn't want you to think too badly ofme you know. Why am I not defending myself? Why am I not listing allthe positives and what I've done with my life? Because I JUDGE you anddeem you unworthy of knowing ME.

Now go suck an egg.

Ode to my...er HER van. sniff sniff (July 4, 2008)

2008-07-04T12:51:00.000-07:00

Back from vacation. Too damn short if you ask me, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

Theboys go back with their mom at the end of July. Because she's going onholidays, I'll only have the youngest with me for the last 2 weeks.

So today was the last day driving the van.

The.Van. Sigh. How strange. I vowed I would NEVER drive a minivan. Yet Idid. For 6 months. Today we switched vehicles back again. I neverthought I'd say this, but I hate my car. It's not "mine" anymore. Itdoesn't smell the same. She put one of plastic air wick scent things inthe air vent. Vanilla of all choices. It sits there mocking me. Staringat me, daring me to remove it. Out of spite I leave it there. I blastthe A/C hoping to hurry it's demise, hoping it shrivels and the smelldissipates. not even close. The harder the air blows, it's cheerylittle scent grows stronger.
Did the car smell before she got it?
Did she cause some sort of odour that she's trying to cover? My car won't tell me. I think it likes the air freshener.

Imiss the van. It had so much more floor space to fill with garbage,damp kid clothes, and toys. Toys that were too broken to go back intothe house, yet not broken enough to throw away.
Driving the van I actually felt important. I fantasized about being one of those women... you know. a milf. yes. I said it. I drove that van with confidence! nothing more "happenin" than a woman pushing 30, driving a minivan while blasting "bed of roses" by Bon Jovi, chalked full of kids.

It's not the same anymore. I got in the car tonight, slipped my ipodtape converter into the tape deck, switched on my song of choice andalmost cried. No longer do I have an extra 4 feet or so of "surroundsound". The music just plays in the front and back. No music comingfrom the middle. A bonus though. When I open the trunk with the musicstill on, I can hear the music perfectly. Who the hell puts speakers inthe trunk?? All potential "milfness" gone. Even if it was all just in my head.

Clearly I am not ready for my vacation to be over.

3 more 'sleeps' till Valemount! (June 24 2008)

2008-06-24T12:26:00.000-07:00

Three more "sleeps" till family vacation. I am very excited, but notfor the obvious reason. You see, we've been doing the countdown since100 "sleeps". Which is great, as it gets the kids excited and somethingto look forward to, not to mention it help them with math. I'm excitedbecause when we get there, I won't have to listen to it five plus timesa day. Sure, 5 times a day may not sound like a lot, but go ahead. Figure it out times 100 days! A minimum of 500 times in the past 100 days I've heard ___(insert number) of sleeps till Valemount!MINIMUM. Why did I start this? Sometimes I get lucky. Sometimes thekids space it out for me, so I only here it once every 3 hours. Othertimes I listen to 5 children repeating themselves over and over andover in a 5 minute window. The more they talk about it, the more I wantto tell them they're not going. Unless I can put a wool sock in theirmouth.

I've done that before. No no no, not the woolsock thing. I've told the kids at one point or another they can't havesomething they want or have been looking forward to. Not to be mean,but as a punishment. Which I SUCK at. For example, if I was planning ongiving dessert after dinner (which is RARE) and a child has beenparticularly naughty, I'll tell him he can't have dessert that night ifhe continues. Of course they DO continue as they KNOW I'll give it tothem either after the other guys had some, or I'll tuck some away forthe next day.

This has (obviously) backfired on me, soI had to come up with something new. I lie. Yup. You heard me. I lie tothe little buggers . If 2 or more of the kids have been misbehaving tothe point where they don't care about timeouts or the rare spankings Imay hand out, I hit em where it hurts...their tummys. NO. I don't hitthem in the tummy. I'll say loud enough for ALL the kids to hear,"Well, I WAS going to buy ice cream tonight, but since you all can'tget along/listen to me, I guess NO ONE will get any." Then I let outthis loud, long disappointed sigh. Of course, I had zero intention ofactually getting ice cream, but they don't know that.

Isthat wrong to "punish" the better behaved kids? *shrugs shoulders* Idon't know. It may not be "conventional', but it's been working for me.Instead of me having to be after them all the time, they now hold eachother accountable. I hear woes and cries coming from the next room, andinstead of someone running out and tattling, I hear this; "No! Don't dothat to __ (insert child's name) or WE won't get a treat if she'splanning on a treat today." Oh yeah baby. The tattling has been cut inhalf! In. Half. Half of 36874320 times a day is pretty significant. Nowif only I could use that wool sock for the other 18437160 times, I'dhave it made!!

Don't play with the dog poo (June 22 2008)

2008-06-22T12:25:00.000-07:00

Don't play withthe dog poo. Seriously. Someone, at some point of our lives, had to oftold us that. Otherwise the world would be full of adults poking at dogcrap with a stick, or hiding it someone's shoe.

Acouple years ago I was visiting with Shannon while our boys wereplaying together. There was a nice large pile of dog dung that the boyswere examining when Shannon called out to them in a casual tone, "Don'tplay with the dog poo." This didn't phase me one iota. Shannon'sroommate (who was childless) laughed her ass off. We looked at her withconfusion. She said, "It's amazing what you have to tell kids. You'dthink it was obvious to NOT play with poop!" Hmmm. I guess so!

Inever realized what we do have to tell kids. Since I've had my nephewslive with me I've taken notice of it a bit more. Here are just a few phrases I've uttered that I'm sure would raise eyebrows from a childless adult.

My list of Parent isms
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. Don't play with the dog poo. (Said to Braden and his friend Aiden)

2. Don't lick your brother's bum. (to Mackenzie)

3. Next time you get poop on your finger, don't wipe it on the wall. (to Braden and Alex)

4. My bra is not a toy (to Sam, Braden, Ben, Alex AND Mackenzie)

5. We don't put underwear in the toilet (to Alex, Mackenzie and Ben)

6. Don't talk to mommy/auntie right now. I put myself in time out. (to ALL)

7. Only ONE person goes pee at a time (to all the boys)

8. Do NOT pee on other people (to all the boys)

9. Take the sock off of your penis (sigh.. to all the boys)

10. Stop poking my boobs (to Ben and Mackenzie)

11. Don't wipe your boogers on the wall (to all, as I STILL have no clue who the
actual culprit is/was)

12. If you insist on punching your cousin, at least do it like you mean it, darnit! (that has been said in a moment of desperation, hoping "reverse psychology" would work...it didn't. Said to Braden and Ben)

Winks and hyperactive fish (June 14 2008)

2008-06-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

My new daily routine is getting up, feeding the herd breakfast,and while they eat I get "me" time. My new routine to make me feel morelike ME is put on my contacts, do my hair (somewhat) and put on makeup. It's AMAZING how different I feel with makeup on. In my early 20'sI wore it all the time. I stopped and didn't wear makeup for about 5years. In those 5 years i may have worn makeup maybe 5 times.

Yesterdaywas the same old thing. I dropped the boys off at school, and went outfor breakfast with Mackenzie, Alex and my mom. After breakfast weheaded over to zellersto do some shopping. I was strolling through the toy department insearch of a miracle toy that children could play with that no one wouldfight over...yeeeah.That doesn't exist...I looked up to see a VERY good looking fellow. hewas quite the eye candy! We had brief eye contact and then he winkedat me! I felt my face go beet red, and I quickly turned around with awhat-the-heck-just-happened look on my face. Needless to say I wasfeeling pretty good about myself. About 15 minutes later I was in theDVD section, scoping out the movies. An older gentleman, around 60 orso, looked at me and gave the polite "hello nod". I returned it with apolite smile, and then he winked at me! WHAT THE HECK?? Twice?? In thesame day?? Sure he was a little old, but my ego was boosted!! My momand I decided it was time to head over to the cashier. We had all weneeded and needed to be on our way. The girl at the check out counterseemed pleasant enough, till she gave me a weirdlook. When we were done paying and were heading to the car, I asked momif she saw that weird look the cashier gave me. She said no, she didn'tsee. Then mom did a double take at me and asked why I was winking ather. Huh??? I wasn't. She said "Look at me for a minute". I did, andshe started laughing. She asked if my contacts were bothering me. Isaid no, why? She tells me my left eye blinks twice...while my righteye follows every other blink. Niiiice. That may explain the cashier's funny look and the old man, but that hot guy was totally winking cuz he liked what he saw! That's my story and I'm stickin with it!!

I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism about 2 years ago. I take one and half iddy bitty little pills everyday, and will probably have to take them for the rest of my life. No biggy.They help me function. I have to get blood work done every year to yearand a half to make sure I am getting the proper dosage. If someone wereto take a dosage that was too high for too long, they would end upshowing symptoms of hyperthyroidism. Well, today I managed to dumped half my prescription down the bloody sink. I am not impressed with me! I can just see in the news over the next couple of days some scientists or biologist will be doing a study on fish. Fish that are very hyperactive in this particular area...shhhh! It wasn't me!!!

Where's that 2x4???? (June 11 2008)

2008-06-11T12:01:00.000-07:00

12 more days ofschool! It's bittersweet. All the driving I do is enough to drive oneinsane. Half day kindergarten has GOT TO BE ABOLISHED!! What a pain! Onthe other hand... all these kids and me. Alone. 24/7. for 2 months. Iwave my white flag!!

16 'sleeps' till vacation time!It really will be a vacation too. The kids might be around me, butAaron is coming, not to mention it's our annual family reunion. whichmeans lots of other adults to help watch kids. The kids pretty muchhave free reign of my aunts property there too. So I'll only see thekids when it's time to eat meals, and when they find me to tattle onsomeone. Tattling. OH. MY. GOODNESS. Unless someone is bleeding,choking or drowning, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!!!

If my sister gets her kids back at the end of the school year, Ill have a very quiet ride up there. Just Aaron, Kenzie, Braden and myself. In my CAR. Sigh. I'm really gonna miss driving the van. I LOVE the van. I don't miss my car one iota.

Weusually go for 3 days, but this year we'll be gone for 5. I would haveliked to stay for a week, but Aaron can't take that much time off ofwork. Bummer.
My favorite part of the trip is the 8 hour drivethere and back. Even with whiny kids. I'm always daydreaming. Drivingthat long will be "therapeutic". After typing that, it sounds kind of odd. I think I'm odd, so no shocker there!

I'mthe type of person who needs to be bashed in the head with a 2x4 beforei notice, or "get" something. So I've been doing a little praying. Godknows I need the 2x4 smack, and he has certainly shown me when I'veasked!! ex - in labour with Mackenzie, I prayed, cuzI didn't want to go to the hospital too early. 12 hours ofcontractions, my water broke. Wait. no it didn't. It BURST!! Right awayI raised my eyebrows, and said out loud (to God) "Now THAT was a sign!!Thanks!!" lol! (My water never broke with Braden!!)
SoI'm asking for Him to "hit" me again. In regards to a certain someone.sigh. I NEED to know either way, and things are progressing REALLY REEEEAAALLLY sloooooooow.A little TOO slow. But I haven't gotten hit with the 2x4 yet. Andgetting rather impatient!! I know, I know... All on His time, but Ithink He knows I NEED AN ANSWER before I either give up, or go completely nutso!!

I make myself shake my head. I think I just blog-prayed. Hmmm. that's a first. well, I'm off to pick Ben up from K. I'll probably post something later. I'm in a really good mood today. YAY!!

Topic Jumper (June 8 2008)

2008-06-08T12:00:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to use this blog as a "diary". If I did, the postswould be...well, sad, sappy, boring and LONG. I've been against theblogging thing forever, cuz I didn't "get it". Then I created this blogand found quite a few friends here who have also just started or arere-starting their blogs. Small friggin world.

I likereading blogs. I like taking a sneak peak into the lives of friends,family and even strangers, even though it's just a surface look. I envysome of the bloggers out their. Their writing skills are phenomenal.Some are serious, and some are down right hilarious.

I'm not sure what "theme" this will have, if any. I can say that I won't be posting too many of my "issues" on here though.

Idon't know about you, but for me, certain topics can only be brought upwith certain people. My love life...or lack there of...will usually bereserved for Shannon and a couple others. My finances, I'll leave thattopic for my mom...as in, "mom, can ya lend me $50??? PWEEEZE".Religion...yowza. I can only talk to so many people about that, becauseno matter WHAT, I start to cry. I'm not sure why.

Itopic jump. I used to make fun of a friend of mine for that. HA! Nevermind used to. I STILL bug her about it. She switches topics so quickly,that sometimes, I'm still 3 topics behind as she rambles on. No fretthough. She eventually comes back around again and we catch up justfine. I can stay on topic while having a conversation, but throughwriting? Not a chance.

This weekend Braden andMackenzie went to their dad's place. (long story short, Aaron isMackenzie's dad, but he refuses to leave Braden outta the picture,since Braden's "dad" IS outta the picture. Aaron refers to both of themas his kids...awe. and "Sigh" :) ) Aaron is totally into MMA (mixedmartial arts). He goes to classes 5 days of the week to train. So he's"training" Braden on the weekends. YIKES! Braden is learning all thesetechniques and what not. He's SIX!! My BABY!! I completely trust Aaron.I just NEVER want to see it again! Yesterday Braden was grappling withhis cousin who is 10, and about 2 feet taller than him. The whole timeI was like "OoooH!! AHH!! GASP!!" while chewing on my fingernails andclenching my ass cheeks together. Aaron was looking at me with raisedeyebrows, and probably hoping I would leave soon so there wouldn't besuch a "mom" presence. Aaron was calling out moves to Braden, coachinghim how to get out of the "ball cruncher" move, or whatever they calledit. He may have been witnessing guy stuff, but all I was seeing was mybaby getting a boo-boo.

Here he is. I don't know why I was so concerned though...

he WAS kicking some serious ass... Awe. Look at my little tank!!

PoorBraden. You'd have to know him. I guess you'd have to know me better toknow I'm not being a degrading cow towards my own flesh and blood,but... I can see him in 12 to 15 years or so. He's the guy thateveryone will love and adore. The big muscular kid/man with a HINT of abeer gut, waving a giant foam finger at a sports game while smashing abeer can on his head. His motto may just be "strong like bull, smartlike tractor". After the "game", he'll come home telling his dear oldmother how lovely she looks, and ask her to make him something to eat.Like always. I'll say of course, while licking my thumb in preparationto rub the encrusted mustard off of his face from the 4 hot dogs healready consumed at the game. I'll just hope he keeps any fight storiesto himself.

Mammal Eggs (June 5 2008)

2008-06-05T12:00:00.000-07:00

I have a very vivid imagination. So do my children. I encouragethis. A great imagination, I believe, is the stem of a great sense ofhumor, and individualism. To put it boldly I think people with no senseof humor are sad, sad creatures. In both the literal sense and not!

Mykids love animals. We drive by a cow farm everyday on the way toschool. When the cows are out, they are usually right by the fencegrazing. The kids and I yell out "COWS!!" every time. The kids knowthat milk comes from cows. A few months back I told them when I waslittle, I used to think the brown cows made chocolate milk. Theygiggled and said I was silly. It got really quiet in the van for a bit.I could see their little wheels turning. Braden says to me, "Mommy, Ithink you were right. I think chocolate milk really DOES come frombrown cows!!" I smiled and was in my glory. I was happy because Ididn't TELL them whether it was true or not. I had simply stated what Ihad believed at one point, and to this day secretly wish chocolate milkreally DID come from brown cows.

A few days later, my7 year old nephew, Sam, asked me if this was all true. I turned itaround on him and said "What do YOU think?" I wasn't gonna correct himand burst the "fun" for the other kids. I mean seriously. It's not likehe asked what 10 + 10 was. I didn't actually TELL them this was true.It's no different than Santa Claus, tooth fairy, etc. Well, other thanthe fact a chocolate milk producing cow has never come into my home andleft a gift for me while I slept. AND for the fact I HAVE convinced thekids that Santa, the tooth fairy etc WERE true...But that's beside thepoint!!

This morning on the way to school we, likealways, drove past the cows. Braden piped up from the backseat, "Mommy.I know that the brown cows and all the other cows all make regularmilk. I just like to pretend." I smiled and told him I liked pretendingto.
My youngest nephew Alex, who is 4, got all excited and said"Nannie!!! (their nickname for me) I see a cow laying down! It must bea tired mommy cow!" I chuckled and asked "why do you think it's a tiredmommy cow?" He said, with a great enthusiasm, "Because it's hard workkeeping chocolate her cow eggs warm and getting them ready to hatch!!"

Lesson on mammals tomorrow.

They can keep va-jay-jay (June 4 2008)

2008-06-04T12:00:00.000-07:00

Grey's Anatomy is my favorite show. I went into a deep dark depressionevery Thursday night during the writers guild strike. I sunk evendeeper into depression 30 seconds after the season finale aired 2 weeksago. I snapped out of it about 3 minutes later, but that was toughtimes I tell ya.

Now flashback about 2 years

A pastfriend of mine, (I'll call him 'K'), was in denial. He was 23 and hadVERY thinning hair. He kept his hair "longish", as he believed himselfto be a rock star. I was with him and his twin brother at a concertwhen K was admiring himself in the reflection of the car window. Heasked his brother if his hair (which was ROCK HARD and BRITTLE from allthe hair products he used) looked alright. His brother laughed at himand said "Dude. We're going BALD man. Our hair will never look"alright" again!" K almost died. He was offended, hurt, and in BIGtime denial. My best friend and I dubbed poor K the name "BaldyMcHairline". Not to his face of course, but WE coined that phrase! Orso I would like to believe.

Flash forward about 2 years or so.

Myfavorite show, Grey's Anatomy, is taking credit for our phrase!! Youknow, "McDreamy", "McSteamy" etc. EXCUSEY MOI????? Not only do I NOWhave to EXPLAIN that I did NOT "steal" the "Mc" phrase when referringto "Baldy McHairline", but am now being accused anytime I use a phraselike that! such as "Grumpy McGrumperson" when referring to my crankychild, or "Smelly McSmellerson" when changing a poopy bum.

It may seem frivolous, but gosh darn it, I want credit!! I'll be kind and let them have "va-jay-jay" though.

Ear Sight (June 3 2008)

2008-06-03T12:00:00.000-07:00

This is how I look at the end of the day, Mon-Fri. From the inane amount of driving I do!

Myday is out of wack. I'm sitting here thinking I've got to BE somewhere.I usually leave to get Ben from kindergarten at 11:10am. No today. He'sgoing to the zoo with his class, along with the grade 1's. Today I pickBen up from school at 2pm. Then I get to go back, and pick up Bradenand Sam from school at 3:05pm. That would be fine if the school wasn'ta ten minute drive away!
Ishouldn't really complain until tomorrow though. Tomorrow Sam goes on afield trip that leaves at 8:30am. He needs to be there at 8:20. Did Imention school doesn't start till 9am?? And that I'll have to WAIT forhalf an hour in the parking lot with 4 kids until Ben and Braden can goto their class? Then I'll drop Alex and Kenzie off at daycare around9:15, and go BACK to the school for 11:25 to pick up Ben. I HATE halfday kindergarten. What a waste of time. Then I'll pick up Kenzie andAlex from daycare, head to the school to pick up Braden at 3:05. Thenwhat? I have to wait until 4PM to get Sam! If this was everyday I'd...forget it. I'm NOT going to think about it. I do enough driving toschool and daycare on a daily basis. No sense in giving myself ananeurysm thinking about crap that doesn't happen.

Ben told be todaywhen he yawned he could hear even better. I asked what he meant and hesaid, "When I yawn, everything gets louder and my earsight gets reallygood and loud." His 'ear sight'. Cute.

Mydays are so redundant. Go to school. Go to daycare. Go home. Go toschool. Go home. Go to daycare. Go to school. I spend a good 2-3 hoursa DAY in the van. Lord help me.

Tuesdaysand Fridays I get to shake things up a bit. I don't have to pick thelittle ones up from daycare until AFTER I get ALL the boys from school.I look forward to those days. It makes me feel rebellious.

I'vebeen doing the countdown to Valemount with the kids since we were at 75"sleeps" away. I tell Aaron pretty much every weekend how many "sleeps"till we go. He doesn't show as much enthusiasm as me. He's such a man.But that doesn't stop me. On Saturday I told him "Only 26 more sleepstill Valemount!!" He paused for a second. I actually thought he wasgoing to tell me he wasn't going. He proceeds to the calender, andtells me It was wrong, and it was 27 sleeps away. I was mad!! He was"right". (note the quotation marks there) My countdown I have on myfacebook page shows how many DAYS until we leave...it also shows howmany HOURS until we leave. That's where it got me. Whatever. I'm RIGHT,he's WRONG. He's wrong because you never EVER tell a woman who isexcited about a trip that there is indeed an extra day before we leave.

I'll have to tell him that. I just hope his ear sight is working well.

I'm BLOGGING?! (June 2, 2008)

2008-06-02T12:00:00.000-07:00

So "they" say, in our lifetime, we have one "profound" year. Thepast 12 months for me have been...uh.. interesting. Profound? I'm nottoo sure, but I'll take it as such to make "them" happy.

May 2007- My back goes out. And by out, I mean non functional with EXTREMEpain. I'd rather birth 14 watermelons while sitting on a cactus. Turnsout my pelvis "locked" and all the muscles in my pelvic region werespasming, inflamed, and just not HAPPY. Thank God for diazepam.

May 2007 - I lost my job because of my back.

May 2007 - My best friend Shannon (aka- sugartits) Left me for TEXAS! Now THAT was HARD to deal with. :(

May 2007 -May 2008-I notice the vision in my left eye was going. After 2 optometrist, 1opthamologist, 1 neurologist, 1 "heavy duty eye guy" (like anopthamologist but with superpowers) 2 CT scans, 1 MRI, 1 lumbarpuncture, 6 field of vision tests, some crazy medication to lower someexcess spinal fluid, (that I quit taking after 12 days because it mademe non-functional), they tell me nothing was wrong except for someswollen optic nerves. okay....??? So THIS May, I go into the eye doctorto get contacts. For shits and giggles he takes pictures of myeyeballs. Then he tells me I'm FINE. The swelling in my optic nerves isGONE. Pardon me? I just went though HELL, and there's nothing WRONG?I'm FINE? Seriously?? Are you SURE there's not even a teeeny tiiinytumor in there? Sigh. All for nothing!! So here I am "fine", but Istill have approximately 40% vision loss. Go figure.

Sept 2007- My son starts grade one with a teacher who FULLY EXPRESSES to ME thathe seems to be "immature" (HELLO?!?! He's SIX.) That she would muchrather NOT be teaching a k/1 split, and she'll "keep his eye on him. Mypoor child. He went from having the BEST kindergarten experience in thehistory of all kindergartens that have been, and to come (we MISS you,Miss Penzer!!!) to a new teacher AND principle that have LABELED mychild, and wish to hear nothing I say until I show I'm PISSED. Watchout for Mama Bear. Trust me. you think you've seen me angry?? TrySeeing me in Mama bear mode. I've impressed/freaked MYSELF out.

Sept 2007- certain events led to the removal of my 7 nieces and nephews being"spread out and about". The 3 youngest of those seven being placed infoster care. FOSTER CARE! With NONE of the family beinginformed. After 3 months of breathing down the ministry's neck, IFINALLY get the boys in my care.

Dec 2007 - I quit my new job to get ready and prepare for my nephews coming to stay with me.

Jan - 2008- The boys come to stay with me. I've got a 6 year old son and a 2 yearold daughter. I just ASKED for THREE boys, ages 3, 5, and 7?? Am INUTS? apparently so. They drive me INSANE. Not just my nephews. My son.Holy smokes. The 5 year old (Ben) and my son Braden who is 6,hate/despise/loathe each other. Really. I'm NOT exaggerating. I wish Iwas. BUT, with all the headache, frustration, whining, etc, I'm glad Itook them on. I would have NEVER forgiven myself had I left those kidsin foster care. They NEEDED someone who knew them, loved them, madethem eat their veggies and give timeouts too. The boys told me theyliked their foster mom's house better cuz she didn't force them to eatveggies, and NEVER gave time outs. Are you kidding me? Every houseneeds to have pencil HOLES, scribbled art work and encrusted boogers inthe timeout corner! (It's amazing what goes on in the timeout corner)

(left to right) My nephews -

Alex 4, Sam 7, Ben 5.

My 2 monkey's - Braden 6, Mackenzie 2.

March/April/May 2008 - I've gotten to see certain family members in a different light. Some good, others not so good. That hurts. A LOT.

Feb 2008 - present- My son is doing GREAT in school. Since I gave the school a "taste ofthei own medicine", Braden has flourished in schoolwork, his teacherand principle have backed WAY off, and I quite enjoy watching her walkon eggshells around me. I didn't really WANT that, but I AM liking it.Is that bad?

May 2008- Hearing rumors that the boys MAY be going back. I surprised myselfwith having mixed emotions with that one. Half of me says "Yes! Go. Gofar far away and let me get back to "normal"..." The other half says"NOoooo!! We're are FINALLY getting somewhere now! There's no WAY theycan get plunked on my doorstep, double up the size of my little family,cause me to go POTENTIALLY gray, (haven't found a grey hair!!...yet...)and then wisk them away with the 3 of us saying "what the hell justhappened?!?!"... I will miss them when they do go though.

I'm not even going to touch all the BIG stuff that's happened this year... ha ha ha... I'm KIDDING!

Ihaven't been ID'd in a year. I could walk into the same store, dayafter day to get my smokes, and be asked for ID. Have I been ID'd inthe past year? NOPE. Great. Stress really DOES age you. Sigh.
Now THAT'S profound.